Just Released!! Bad to the Bone Memoir
“Let’s get this clear right away: I’m a dog.”
“From shelter-dog reject to beloved pet and popular doggie blogger, Bo Hoefinger’s life has been anything but ordinary.
Join this incorrigible canine as he welcomes us into his life, complete with his wacky “parents,” a constipated feline housemate, and chipmunk warfare.
Bad to the Bone is an unforgettable, laugh-out-loud tale of love and loyalty that reveals the true heart of a modern American family.”
Click here for reviews, upcoming events and book info.
Featured Entry
I woke up this morning to the realization that it was a Monday.
To some it offers the opportunity of a fresh start, of a week full of accomplishments ahead. To me, it’s the dreary realization of another tough work week.
That’s right, I have the daily grind of napping, pooing, walking, napping, eating, pooing and peeing ahead of me for the next five days. Hopefully a vet visit isn’t in the cards. It ain’t easy being me, especially at my advanced age.
What I need is some pampering, the kind I get from the old man on the weekends. We sleep late in the morning, we nap together on the guest bed in the afternoons and we snore the evening away on the couch after sharing a dinner of chicken nuggets…with bbq sauce. It’s paradise, I tell ya.
If only I could do this all the time. Read the full story »
Latest Blog Entries
Snake Can’t Kick Cigarette Habit
Sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. It’s a sure path to ruin.
I don’t partake in any of it. Heck, I won’t even consider the gateway activity to getting there. You know, smoking.
Sure I get peer pressure to take a toke on a Virginia Slim or a Marlboro Light, but no matter how much Ruger the boxer insists, I just won’t inhale.
The reason is simple. If I’m going to inhale something that isn’t healthy, it’s going to be a Whopper from BK, or dare I say it, a Big Mac from McDees. Yeah life expectancy is cut short by six months for each one you eat, but at least your enjoying the taste. (more…)
A Visit From The Grim Kitty
You like cats? Do you really?
You like them sauntering over to you, rubbing their head against your leg, your chest and your face? You like that do you?
How about when they curl up in a ball next to you while you rest? Do you like the feeling of their fur against your skin, the smell of their tuna breath, and the sound of their purr? Do you like that? Do you?
Well have I got a story for you from The Telegraph. If you have a cat snuggled up next to you right now, I urge you to read this now, and be quick about it. (more…)
Buffaloes – A Steep Price for Love
I admit it. I’ve cheated on my parents.
These trists occur when I’m out alone touring this great land of ours, typically occurring after a backyard break out that had been planned for days.
Once out, I’ll seek the nearest stranger offering comfort. Comfort in food that is. I don’t care if they’re holding a hot dog, a delectable human snack or even a rubber chicken, I’ll stop and let them pet me. Surely, and inevitably, a nibble of what’s in their hands is next.
Some may call that doggie prostitution, but hey, you do what you gotta do to survive.
Punxsutawney Phil To Lose Job Too?
After quite some time on this planet what I’ve learned is that everything is replaceable.
My rawhides? Replaced by Greenies.
Those Greenies? Replaced by 100% natural dog biscuits.
And those dog biscuits? Replaced by a whole lotta nothing.
Apparently I’m a fat tub of goo according to my parents, and the vet’s scale. But hey, at least nobody is talking about replacing me. (more…)
Bunny Needs Gamblers Annonymous
You ever notice that a lot of folks love to drink, smoke and gamble? If you don’t think that’s the case, all you need to do is catch a half hour on A/E during prime time.
I admit my family is no different than others and have these issues. My father is a drinker…of 3 pints of draft beer a week. My mother is a smoker…of every dinner she’s made this year. My sister Copper is a gambler…on her farts not killing everyone in the house.
Me? I do what I want. If I want a drink, I go to my bowl of water. If I want smokes, I steal them from Fonzy’s shirt sleeve. If I want to gamble, I ride shotgun with my mother driving. (more…)
Videos
I have to give credit where credit is due. I always thought I was the most prolific message...
My mother took my new brother to agility training for six weeks. I gotta be honest, he doesn’t...
I love sleep. I can’t imagine not doing it curled up on a warm, soft bed. Others have...
Here’s a commercial I like. Dog steals food and sets up the cat to take the fall. What...
Product Reviews
Kooky Chews is a candy toy made for kids. So why am I showcasing it here? Because, it packages...
So I’m sitting there watching a little Animal Planet when the old man comes into the...
Day in and day out, I get served slop in a bowl for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I guess it’s...
Imagine, if you will, walking in the rain but instead of raindrops coming out of the sky it’s...
Ask Bo
Bo Knows JealousyDear Bo, My humans are away and the computer was left on… Dude, I stuck in between heaven (with a sweet young affectionate and...
Minimize Humiliation of Dog Hair CutHello my dear pal, My mom cut all my hair yesterday… ALL… except where you know. But, I look like a teen now and...
Murphy’s LawDear Bo, My parents think they feed me a lot but I disagree. For me it is not really the quality of the food as it is the quantity....
Heat ExhaustionHey bo what’s up? My mommy is really worried about me in the heat. I tried to explain that i’m ok. I just need to stay...
More News and Commentary
Dog Rescued From Can of Cat FoodYou ever get so hungry you’d eat cat poop? I know I have, but sometimes the litter box is empty forcing me to scrounge around the house looking for alternatives. I’ll check under the couch cushions (the old man is a slob and lots of food gets stuck there, along...
Dirtbike Riding DogI’m sure you’ve all heard the joke, “What’s the difference between a Hoover vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?” The answer of course is the location of the dirtbag. Don’t get me wrong I’m pro Harley, and motorcycles in general,...
Ape Gun ControlWhere on this great earth of ours could King Kong’s descendant survive an attack from an army of zoo workers carrying guns and tranquilizing darts? If you said Skull Island you’re right, but you’re also living in a fantasy world. Those living in the real...
Otter Hates Parents, Dreams of Living AloneI was outside yesterday when I heard a ruckus from down the road. It was my neighbor and her son. She was having a screaming match about what a lazy slug he was. I know the feeling. Even at my advanced age I get into screaming matches with my parents. It’s always “Bo...
Goat Likes the LadiesEveryone’s heard about goats. Sometimes they’re wild, sometimes they’re all horned up and sometimes a bit of both. I’ve tried goat cheese, goat kabobs and I’ve even tried wearing a goat-tee but the only goat I’ve ever really liked was...
Bronson Tougher Than CharlesOK, I admit it. I’m scared of snakes. That’s right, your fuzzy hero has a fear of the slinky kind. Maybe it’s because I remember the day, when I was a mere pup, when a snake crawled into our den to vie for my mother’s nipple. When I attempted to push...
Pachyderms Love Nice BunsHumans think they are so superior, don’t they? Ever notice how they like to command you to do things? Sit…stay…come…no…No…NO! Do they really think we’re going to comply if it isn’t in our best interest? If I want food, I whine....
Cowabunga DudeI like cows. Especially covered in cheese, ketchup and in between two buns (hey, I’ll be here all week folks!). Well, it turns out cows can be quite menacing. Really. I’m not just talking about those heifers defacing local billboards, but real moo moos. The...
Fat Cat is Really a Fat PigRigitoni? Linguine? Fettuccine? No thanks. If I’m going to partake in the heaven known as pasta, I’m going to select one that says something about me. That’s right, when dining on Italian cuisine, I opt for pasta number 9…better known as Angel Hair...
This Really Gets My GoatMy father and I were out driving around last week when we came upon a strange sight. By the side of the road, a green statue with a large headpiece waved at us. It was lady liberty, she was alive and much smaller than I expected her to be. A few blocks up the road and...
Sunbear Squad Tip of the Week
Watch for dogs running (exercising) with owners in frigid weather. Paws and lung tissue can freeze and dogs might not show obvious signs of distress. Speak with the owner.
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