My Memoir "Bad to the Bone" Is Out!
“Let’s get this clear right away: I’m a dog.”
“From shelter-dog reject to beloved pet and popular doggie blogger, Bo Hoefinger’s life has been anything but ordinary.
Join this incorrigible canine as he welcomes us into his life, complete with his wacky “parents,” a constipated feline housemate, and chipmunk warfare.
Bad to the Bone is an unforgettable, laugh-out-loud tale of love and loyalty that reveals the true heart of a modern American family.”
Click here for reviews, upcoming events and book info.
Featured Entry
I’m not a booze-hound.
Maybe it’s because my father never let me drink beer or any alcoholic beverage for that matter. Or it could be because I hung out with a pack of nerd-dogs who were afraid of getting carded at the local liquor store.
Regardless, I’ve heard stories of pups who’ve been aloud to partake in what is said to be a bitter drink. Some probably spent time recovering with Lindsay Lohan in rehab.
The first step in recovery is to admit you have a problem.
Latest Blog Entries
Bears Protect Their Pot Turf
Weed.
Some people make clothes out of it, some build a show around it, while others still use it to enhance their appetite.
Before you get the wrong impression and think, “Ahh, Bo always has the munchies. He must smoke weed!”, let me assure you, I don’t need performance enhancing drugs to increase my appetite.
I’m no Barry Bonds or Roger Clemens. No sirree, I don’t need anything to make me better. I’m a pro, and a natural one at that.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge those that do. You want to get high? Knock your socks, just don’t forget to give me some of your Scooby Snacks.
Koala Hitches A Ride
I love car rides. So do a lot of other dogs on this planet.
I’m not quite sure what it is that so impresses us about going from point A to point B, especially when point B turns out to be the veterinarian’s office.
Maybe it’s the feeling of flying throw space, or it could be that we enjoy getting somewhere without using our own power, or quite simply it could just be that we like wiping our asses on car seats.
Whatever the motivation, the call for “Wanna go for a ride” sets many a dog-heart aflutter across the world. Nay, across the universe!
Cock-A-Doodle-Shhhh
If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand time, “Bo, be quiet!”
When that doesn’t work, its, “Bo Shut UP!!”
And if that doesn’t do the trick, then its a quick, “Want a treat?” … which, by the way, always works.
I don’t know why humans are so keen on making animals be unnaturally quiet. I mean, we don’t tell them to shut their pie holes when they go on and on about their mundane lives.
Do I really care that my mother got charged $1 for the side order of special sauce she requested at dinner last night? C’mon honey, get over it and spare my ears.
Cone Of Silence
I love sucking on a good jar of peanut butter. It tastes great and is less filling than a bacon-squirrel sandwich. Hey, a dog has to watch his weight sometimes.
The problem, of course, is that the buttery goodness is difficult to get at when it’s inside that jar. That’s where an abnormally long tongue, and lots of patience, helps.
I could teach a college course on the best way to attack treats not easily accessible.
Cow To Sun, You’re Not So Hot
Summer is slowly winding down, and when I say slowly, I mean real slowly.
Temperatures are expected to plummet to 90 degrees this week while the humidity drops into the 80% range. If that doesn’t say comfortable I don’t know what does.
OK, I admit my aging bones love this heat. My parents, not so much.
But there’s a benefit to them, too. I’m low maintenance in this weather. No need for walks, car rides or trips to the squirrel farm this time of year.
Videos
Well sometimes you just have to laugh. For me it’s usually when I’m goofing on...
I have to give credit where credit is due. I always thought I was the most prolific message...
My mother took my new brother to agility training for six weeks. I gotta be honest, he doesn’t...
I love sleep. I can’t imagine not doing it curled up on a warm, soft bed. Others have...
Product Reviews
Kooky Chews is a candy toy made for kids. So why am I showcasing it here? Because, it packages...
So I’m sitting there watching a little Animal Planet when the old man comes into the...
Day in and day out, I get served slop in a bowl for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I guess it’s...
Imagine, if you will, walking in the rain but instead of raindrops coming out of the sky it’s...
Ask Bo
Bo Knows JealousyDear Bo, My humans are away and the computer was left on… Dude, I stuck in between heaven (with a sweet young affectionate and...
Minimize Humiliation of Dog Hair CutHello my dear pal, My mom cut all my hair yesterday… ALL… except where you know. Â But, I look like a teen now and...
Murphy’s LawDear Bo, My parents think they feed me a lot but I disagree. For me it is not really the quality of the food as it is the quantity....
Heat ExhaustionHey bo what’s up? My mommy is really worried about me in the heat. I tried to explain that i’m ok. I just need to stay...
More News and Commentary
Happy Hour Service at UrinalI’m thirsty. My bowl is empty and I’m not sure when my parents are planning to fill it up with some good old H two Oh goodness. During times like these a dog has to take matters into his own paws. Most times I’ll hoist myself up near the cat’s water...
Finger Lickin’ Good?Stories abound around the internet about dog heroes. You have the ones that save families from fires, the brave few who take bullets for their K-9 partners, and of course, the ubiquitous canines defending their loved ones from joggers, walkers and the mailmen. I’m...
Homing SnailsIn my youth and middle age years I loved to break free and roam the neighborhood. This, as one may suspect, caused my parents great fear. In their mind, what was to keep me from darting out in front of a car, or of getting lost and not finding my way home again? Let me take...
Love Knows No BoundsLove is a crazy thing.It doesn’t care who or what the object of desire is. For instance, there’s a stuffed animal in our house, it’s a squirrel or maybe a large rat, that my sister Mothball loves to play with. In fact she spends all of her time with it. I...
Sheep Special – 50% offGood morning ladies and gentlemen, cats and dogs, and penguins the world over. Have you ever noticed that when folks encounter someone handicapped; be it a person in a wheelchair, a bird on a set of crutches, or a dog wearing coke bottle eyeglasses, they tend to look away....
Crime Fighting Parrot Wants a CrackerI firmly believe, we all aspire to do great things. I’ll even include Mothball, the family fat cat, in on that action. Sure her great goal is just to annoy me on a daily basis, but at least she strives to be something better. For me I’ve always wanted to do good...
Clean Snakes Are Still ScaryYesterday, my father dropped my mother off at the airport.It is her annual pilgrimage home, and some time for her to vacation in Maine with her girlfriends. This is the time of year where my father gets to spend 10 days fending for himself and the army of fur balls he calls...
Falling Mountain Goat Hits HikerIf I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, “Some days you’re the dog and some days you’re the hydrant.” Today happens to be one where I feel like a steel fixture painted red. This morning my kibble was served dry, my water was...
Free Food at Pubs for PupsSo here I sit in the good old US of A enjoying another day of sunshine and sleep. Even though my life is great, I always feel there’s someplace better to be. Sometimes it’s as close as the other side of the fence, other times it’s as far away as Europe. In...
Doggie Ice Cream VanThere’s big trouble in the house…and no, it has nothing to do with me. There’s an accusation from my father that his wife, my dear mother, is poisoning him. Sadly, I agree. How else to explain his shift in attitude from watching Animal Planet every night...
Sunbear Squad Tip of the Week
Vehicle travelers with pets planning a Labor Day trip-get prepared. Crates or safety seats for pets reduce opportunities for trouble. Remember, keep heads inside those windows! Drivers, keep pets off your lap. Pickup drivers, don’t let them ride loose in the bed. These are all risky behaviors.
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