My Memoir "Bad to the Bone" Is Out!
“Let’s get this clear right away: I’m a dog.”
“From shelter-dog reject to beloved pet and popular doggie blogger, Bo Hoefinger’s life has been anything but ordinary.
Join this incorrigible canine as he welcomes us into his life, complete with his wacky “parents,” a constipated feline housemate, and chipmunk warfare.
Bad to the Bone is an unforgettable, laugh-out-loud tale of love and loyalty that reveals the true heart of a modern American family.”
Click here for reviews, upcoming events and book info.
Featured Entry
Yesterday, my father dropped my mother off at the airport.It is her annual pilgrimage home, and some time for her to vacation in Maine with her girlfriends.
This is the time of year where my father gets to spend 10 days fending for himself and the army of fur balls he calls his own.
Here it is less than 24 hours later and you can already sense the absence from the home. How you may ask? By simply looking at the counter tops.
Strewn about are four glasses, three peach pits, and a peanut butter laden spoon laying on the dish rag. Don’t even think that anything has been wiped down.
Latest Blog Entries
Falling Mountain Goat Hits Hiker
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, “Some days you’re the dog and some days you’re the hydrant.”
Today happens to be one where I feel like a steel fixture painted red.
This morning my kibble was served dry, my water was warm and the grass I peed on was already wet. That, my friends, is a crap sandwich for an old veteran like me. And not the good kind of crap sandwich (kitty snickers on pumpernickel) I enjoy.
I guess it beats the night my mother had, though. She had to clean up my brother Goliath’s throw up twice last night. Yeah, twice. The old man? He just slept through it…or at least pretended to.
Free Food at Pubs for Pups
So here I sit in the good old US of A enjoying another day of sunshine and sleep.
Even though my life is great, I always feel there’s someplace better to be. Sometimes it’s as close as the other side of the fence, other times it’s as far away as Europe.
In practical terms this means wanting to whiz on the lightpole on the corner of my street or letting loose a red, white, and blue stream of B20 on the Eiffel Tower.
It all really depends on how ambitious I feel that day.
Doggie Ice Cream Van
There’s big trouble in the house…and no, it has nothing to do with me.
There’s an accusation from my father that his wife, my dear mother, is poisoning him.
Sadly, I agree. How else to explain his shift in attitude from watching Animal Planet every night to watching Dateline, 20/20, or 16 and Pregnant? She’s poisoned him alright, and it’s gone straight to his brain.
But that’s not the kind of poisoning he was alluding to. No, he’s complaining about being compromised by the food she feeds him.
When Pigs Fly
Hero worship. I know it well.
Not because I look up to many dogs, cats or humans, but because of being looked up to. Yeah, that’s right, there are other living creatures who look up to the old Bo dog.
Granted, I’m a big dog in a little park, but even so, every yard break is now met with adoring looks (and quiet applause) from every chipmunk and possum especially when my escapades bring me to other neighborhoods.
Lest you think it’s because I’m a famous author, it’s not. No, my forest dwelling friends can’t even read, let alone afford the paltry 15 beans it takes to get my life story into their hands.
No, it’s really because of the way I smell.
Mad Max and Me
It’s time for the Bo Monster to chime in on the latest scandal hitting the internets and the world, and to prevent another one from happening in the process.
Today, I bark about Mel Gibson and his tirades against his girlfriend/mother of his child.
First off, let me go on record to say I love Mel. I think he’s a great actor, but more importantly an advocate for animals. Anybody that’s willing to take a dog along for adventures in a post apocalyptic Australia gets four paws up from me. What a warm, gentle, loving soul, eh.
Videos
Well sometimes you just have to laugh. For me it’s usually when I’m goofing on...
I have to give credit where credit is due. I always thought I was the most prolific message...
My mother took my new brother to agility training for six weeks. I gotta be honest, he doesn’t...
I love sleep. I can’t imagine not doing it curled up on a warm, soft bed. Others have...
Product Reviews
Kooky Chews is a candy toy made for kids. So why am I showcasing it here? Because, it packages...
So I’m sitting there watching a little Animal Planet when the old man comes into the...
Day in and day out, I get served slop in a bowl for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I guess it’s...
Imagine, if you will, walking in the rain but instead of raindrops coming out of the sky it’s...
Ask Bo
Bo Knows JealousyDear Bo, My humans are away and the computer was left on… Dude, I stuck in between heaven (with a sweet young affectionate and...
Minimize Humiliation of Dog Hair CutHello my dear pal, My mom cut all my hair yesterday… ALL… except where you know. Â But, I look like a teen now and...
Murphy’s LawDear Bo, My parents think they feed me a lot but I disagree. For me it is not really the quality of the food as it is the quantity....
Heat ExhaustionHey bo what’s up? My mommy is really worried about me in the heat. I tried to explain that i’m ok. I just need to stay...
More News and Commentary
Dog Toots His Own HornDamn it’s been hot down here in Georgia lately. I hear the whole east coast hasn’t fared much better. Thank goodness for air conditioning. Whatever you do, don’t listen to those nutbags that want us to stop using it. There are times when we do need to leave...
Waterworld – Dachshund EditionSorry for the lack of posts recently but I was at ‘camp’ this past week while my parents went on vacation. While they spent the week at the beach taking in the sun, the water and gobs of fatty food I was relegated to camp activities where I did my best to steer...
Romeo Goes Looking For LoveOne of my favorite sayings, which you may have seen if you were lucky enough to get a pawtographed copy of Bad to the Bone: Memoir of a Rebel Doggie Blogger, is “Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.” Let’s face it, some days...
Dog Runs Over OwnerThese days there’s nothing better than hearing the old man ask, “Wanna go for a ride?” Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always loved jumping into the front seat of his chick truck and watch the world fly by. It’s just now I prefer that over “Wanna...
There’s No Place Like HomeI’m one of those lucky dogs that isn’t frightened by loud thunder and raging storms. I’m calm, cool and collected. But hey, that’s me. My sister Patience, on the other hand, heads straight for the basement. She knows enough to lay under the load bearing...
Living With Enemies is a HootHave you ever noticed some pups are prone to accidents? Humans are afflicted with this too. Take Mr. Magoo.Havoc wreaked around that guy every minute of every day. On second thought, he may be a bad example since he never actually got into accidents; he just caused them. Lucille...
A Little Help From My FriendsI like exercise as much as the next dog, if not more. OK, that’s a lie. At this stage of my canine career, I don’t like it much. That’s what happens when your bones creak like a listing boat in the middle of the sea, or in an oil soaked gulf (thanks BP). That’s...
Eggselents in Production MethodsI had bad cramps yesterday morning. It wasn’t until late in the afternoon that they finally passed. Well, to be honest, it wasn’t until late afternoon until I took the biggest dump this side of the Mississippi for a dog my size. I think it was the cheese. It...
Queen Loves The MilkmanI love the bovine class. I mean, what’s not to like? They’re master billboard climbers, creators of bone hardening drinks, and taste great covered in steak sauce. Granted there are some things that could improve. For instance, instead of chewing cud they could...
Canine Good Citizen Test Gone BadWell sometimes you just have to laugh. For me it’s usually when I’m goofing on humans. To that end, I present to you the video of my mother as we go through the Canine Good Citizen certification test. Note how she thinks she’s in control, but really isn’t....
Sunbear Squad Tip of the Week
Watch for dogs who play or run with their owners in hot weather-they can’t regulate body heat by sweating like humans do. Heat stroke kills dogs because they run until collapse. Watch for hard panting, ropey saliva, wobbly movements, red gums and tongue, vomiting, diarrhea. Intervene immediately or the dog could die.
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