Bad to the Bone
It’s time for me to shamelessly plug my upcoming book, but instead of me telling you about it I’ll let my publisher do the work for me.
“Let’s get this clear right away: I’m a dog.”
“From shelter-dog reject to beloved pet and popular doggie blogger, Bo Hoefinger’s life has been anything but ordinary.
Join this incorrigible canine as he welcomes us into his life, complete with his wacky “parents,” a constipated feline housemate, and chipmunk warfare.
Bad to the Bone is an unforgettable, laugh-out-loud tale of love and loyalty that reveals the true heart of a modern American family.”
Click here to read a sample chapter of Bo’s book.
Featured Entry
I’m an escape artist. Always have been, and I suspect, always will be.
The key to being an expert is to maintain a low profile. For instance when I dig under the fence to get out, I’ll dig a little each time I’m let outside making sure that no one is watching me. After a few ‘gotta go pee-pee’ adventures outside and I’ve dug a hole big enough to crawl under.
Latest Blog Entries
No Place Like a Squirrely Home
I’m going to come right out and say it, I’m an ass dog.
If I see someone new, be it a dog, a cat or a human, I’m going to bury my face deep in the ass of that creature and take a big deep sniff. It’s the only way I can tell the character of that individual.
Let’s be honest, if you smell a load in a person’s underwear or spot a dingleberry hanging from a cat’s behind, do you really need to know anything more about them? No! They’re clearly terrific ambassadors for all living things on mother earth!
Cool Hippo in Hot Water
Damn it’s hot here in Atlanta. Upper 90’s, high humidity with a sprinkling of cough inducing smog.
Going outside is really no different than smoking a carton of Marlboro 100’s in a sauna. The end result is the same, a few pounds of water weight off your chassis and a few months off your life expectancy.
Makes you wonder what my parents were thinking when they moved me here.
At least if I’m going to be forced outside you’d think I’d be provided one of this blow up kiddie pools to lay my weary bones down in…and a mask to cover my mouth like Jacko used to wear. But alas, concern for me is secondary.
Eggsellent Lobster Find
I’ve consumed lamb and rice flavored pellets of food, day in and day out for the past ten years. The previous six was spent downing artificially flavored, and I suspect colored, beef and rice dog chow. They call it chow for a reason, and it isn’t because it’s a delicacy.
I find it amazing my mother still expects me to wag with excitement when she appears from the laundry room with bowl in hand to ask me, “Bo, Bo want dinner?”
Eh, not really. How about a treat instead?
Hoppy Has Cat Scratch Fever
There’s a perception out there in the human community that dogs are mean based simply on their breed.
I find that despicable. Take for instance Chow Chow’s, of which I share an abundance of chromosomes with, who are seen as territorial thugs. Me a territorial thug? Only when it comes to the jar of peanut butter I hover over.
Let me go on the record and say it isn’t the breed, it’s how they were raised. I’m the greatest example, not an angry bone in my body.
On the other side of the spectrum is Scrappy.
Reason Behind Crop Circles Revealed
A friend of mine got hit by a car a few years back. He broke his leg in two places and had pins surgically implanted to fuse the bones together.
Throughout his rehab I’d visit him often to lift his spirits. It seemed he was always a bit out of it. Turns out he was hitting the pain medication a bit too hard. Months after he was walking normally again, he was still partaking in the medicine.
We held an intervention.
Videos
My mother took my new brother to agility training for six weeks. I gotta be honest, he doesn’t...
I love sleep. I can’t imagine not doing it curled up on a warm, soft bed. Others have...
Here’s a commercial I like. Dog steals food and sets up the cat to take the fall. What...
Some will be impressed with the cat in this video. Not me. To truly impress me she would have...
Product Reviews
Kooky Chews is a candy toy made for kids. So why am I showcasing it here? Because, it packages...
So I’m sitting there watching a little Animal Planet when the old man comes into the...
Day in and day out, I get served slop in a bowl for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I guess it’s...
Imagine, if you will, walking in the rain but instead of raindrops coming out of the sky it’s...
Ask Bo
Minimize Humiliation of Dog Hair CutHello my dear pal, My mom cut all my hair yesterday… ALL… except where you know. But, I look like a teen now and...
Murphy’s LawDear Bo, My parents think they feed me a lot but I disagree. For me it is not really the quality of the food as it is the quantity....
Heat ExhaustionHey bo what’s up? My mommy is really worried about me in the heat. I tried to explain that i’m ok. I just need to stay...
Begging StripsDear Bo, Got any special begging tricks to share? Me has run out of ideas Used up all my good ones…sit up(no prompt), sit...
More News and Commentary
Canine Nose What He LikesI have a brother. His name is Logan and he is a Bernese Mountain Dog. This particular breed is big in stature although Logan falls on the small side, or what I like to call a Pocket Berner. You know, because you can put him in your pocket. Granted, it needs to be big enough...
Sweet Smell of HealthToday’s story: not weird, not crazy just another reason to love us four legged, fuzzy creatures. That’s right, not only are we adorable, non-judgemental and eager to please, but now we’re also getting into the human healthcare game. Turns out our noses...
Chicken Therapy for the SoulA few of my friends are therapy dogs. You know, the kind of dogs that get to be taken out a few times a week to help humans with whatever ails them. From what they tell me, it’s a pretty good gig. You get a car ride, all the love you could want and a healthy dose of...
Moose Tracks“Down the stretch they come!! It looks like Secretariat will win it easily…but wait…there on the outside a late charge by…Bullwinkle?…wins the race.” Destiny. Some of us are meant to fulfill it, others are only meant to come enticingly...
Sophie Gives a HootGive a hoot, don’t pollute. That’s what comes to mind when I take a look at the picture on the left. The phrase has nothing to do with the story I’m featuring today other than it being uttered by an owl on US television for years. Or it used to be, anyway....
Shoes – A Foxy AddictionI’ve lived my entire life without having to put on footwear. That includes sneakers, boots, dress shoes or even socks. That all changed recently when the strength of my back legs began to deteriorate. You see we have hardwood floors. Floors my mother finds the need...
Mary Wanna Gets Dog HighI don’t do drugs. Recreational drugs that is. I do partake in peanut butter covered pills legally prescribed by humans who’ve spent way too much time in school and not enough time at the dog park. Yeah, I’m talking about vets. I’ve downed my fair...
This Really Gets My GoatMy father and I were out driving around last week when we came upon a strange sight. By the side of the road, a green statue with a large headpiece waved at us. It was lady liberty, she was alive and much smaller than I expected her to be. A few blocks up the road and...
City Citation Nothing to Crow AboutI like to crow about my accomplishments. Take for instance last night. Not only did I sleep through the night without having to be let out to pee, but I also managed to do it while squeezed in position “A” on the master bed. For those of you not in the know...
Dog Days of Summer BaseballFor the record let me state that I’m a baseball fan. My favorite team is the New York Mets and before any haters are sic’d on me, I’ll have you know I started liking them when they sucked. Coincidentally, it is also the time that I learned a lot of swear...
Sunbear Squad Tip of the Week
Watch and listen for dogs and cats that don't belong to someone in your neighborhood-they are strays and need your help.
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