Boney Hawk

Interesting video of Tillman the bulldog riding his skateboard.

If my old man had a camera I’d show you a gnarly Ollie and a forward face plant. In the meantime this video will have to do.

How Do I Love Thee? With My Tongue Of Course

Dogs Were Muses to Great Writers - This story is not surprising in the least. We have been the inspiration for writers, painters, mailmen and dog catchers the world over.

Without the plucky pup’s timely intervention, one of England’s greatest poets [Elizabeth Barrett Browning] might have succumbed to depression and never penned the immortal line, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”

If only I had a human that could be my muse, then the world would see the genius that is me.

Sheriff offers $10,000 for dog fighting tips

The headline says it all.

Here’s a few tips:

1) Work on your stamina-run at least five mile a day

2) Work the speed bag for quickness

3) Hit the heavy bag for power

4) Sucker punch your opponent the first chance you get

Now where’s my $10 grand?

What Up, Gee?

Gee, a pit bull mix, saved a grandma from attack by two punks in NYC.

However, the teens kept walking next to her and were pushing her, until Stan Schnier and his dog Gee appeared. Schnier says Gee was “pulling me and was barking like crazy,” so they chased the pair. They caught up with one, 14-year-old Alexander G., who cried, “Please, please, don’t arrest me. It was just a school project.” He was charged as a juvenile delinquent and apparently had tried to mug another woman the same day.

Hero saves the elderly. Hero gets rewarded with goodies, right? Not so fast my friend…

Schnier said, “Everybody was saying what a great dog, go buy her a pork chop. I said, ‘Why take it out on the pig?’ So I gave her some vegetarian sausages.”

What? A vegetarian sausage? No wonder Gee chased those youths, she was just looking to put a little protein in her diet.

Pretty Doggie

Here’s a new fad that I just don’t agree with.

From the state that popularized purse puppies, drive-thru dog washes and gourmet dog food delivery comes the latest in canine convenience - a company that contracts out dogs by the day to urbanites without the time or space to care for a pet full-time.

Turns out they’re taking puppies and renting them around to different families, never letting them fully bond with any one owner.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but if this were applied to people they’d call it prostitution.

Snake, Rattle and Bite

Zoey the chihuahua takes one for the family and becomes a hero in the process.

Zoey is a Chihuahua, but when a rattlesnake lunged at her owners’ 1-year-old grandson, she was a real bulldog.

Booker West was splashing his hands in a birdbath in his grandparents’ northern Colorado back yard when the snake slithered up to the toddler, rattled and struck.

Five-pound Zoey jumped in the way and took the bites.

If a chihuahua can make a difference in the world, then why not you? Why Not You!

Retirement Plan

Canines are starting to get the respect we so deserve. First health insurance and now a pension. Next step, we vote. Then world domination!!

The annual pension works out to about $470.

Retired dogs will now be kept at state kennels. The government will pay for all their food, grooming and medical bills.

I hope the pension payout is tied to some sort of annual cost of sleeping adjustment. If not, I’ll take my chances selling pig’s ears on a street corner.

Book ‘Em Pumpkin

Just because you walk upright and have opposable thumbs doesn’t make you bright. Read this if you need proof.

It’s a bad idea to burglarize a place marked “K-9 training facility.”

Police dog handlers arriving Wednesday at the abandoned nursing home where they hold training sessions discovered two men and a woman dismantling the building’s copper pipes and wiring, Hall County Sheriff’s Sgt. Kiley Sargent said.
When the officers arrived, the three dropped their tools and ran. That was their second mistake.

“For anyone to try to run from a whole unit of canines, it’s just a no-win situation,” Sargent said.

Needless to say, our dog heroes apprehended the suspects, with one lucky enough to have a taste of a burglar ass sandwich. Some dogs have all the luck.

Rocky Roadkill - The Ice Cream

You have to hand it to the Europeans, they sure know how to treat their animals. Case in point is this story.

It’s fat-free, comes in three flavors, and it’s for … dogs.

Introducing “Dogissimo” - an ice cream created specifically for canines which has gone on sale at a Vienna ice cream parlor.

And with temperatures in the Austrian capital topping 35 degrees Celsius (95 degrees Fahrenheit) for almost a week, the treat - available in rice, vanilla-rice and soy flavors - has the potential to become a hit during the dog days of summer.

What a great start on a terrific idea but let’s be serious, those flavors leave a lot to be desired. Rice, vanilla-rice and soy? I guess they must have run out of cardboard flavor.

A little market research would have gone a long way. Flavors with names like Double Chocolate Anal Gland Delight, Chunky Monkey Head Surprise and Moose Poop Tracks would make this venture a sure winner.

Even with the poor implementation of the flavors, your dog still wants to vacation in Vienna.

Show Me The Money

Pepper Ann follows every mother’s advice of eating her greens. Unfortunately for her owners, the lab-german shepard mix wasn’t eating green vegetables…

My mom found little piles of money all over the place where she had chewed up and spit it out or something,” said Debbie.

The or something involved something Pepper left in the back yard. “Lots of piles of little bits of money hanging out in there, so … I just saved it and rinsed it and strained it,” she said.

After drying, matching, and taping together as much currency as she could, Debbie traded in more than $700 worth at a local bank.

Now I understand why my parents pick up my poop in a plastic bag. They’re not environmentally friendly, they’re just cheap.

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