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Kong – Red, Rubbery and Filled With Goodness

Kong – every dog knows what it is. It’s the iPod for the canine set. But is it really all it’s cracked up to be? Well read this review and find out.bo kong

How did the greatest invention in canine treat history, The Kong, come about? Well, it begins with a German Sheppard named Fritz, his owner and a Volkswagen Van.

Fritz, a police dog, enjoyed chewing rocks to relieve the stress of the day. This activity wore Fritz’s teeth down, frustrating his owner Joe Markham as well as his dentist, Dr. Christian Szell.

One afternoon while working on his Volkswagen Van, Joe noticed Fritz dining on rocks once again. It had been a particularly harrowing day of capturing criminals and Fritz was taking it out on a tasty piece of basalt. Out of desperation, Joe began disassembling the van he was working on and threw parts near Fritz to see if he could be coaxed away from his destructive dinner.

Radiator hoses didn’t work – neither did anything else until he pulled off a suspension part and gave it to Fritz. The suspension part was covered with a rubbery, ribbed boot. Right away, Fritz was ecstatic. His encounter with the Michelin Man earlier in the day may have had something to do with the immediate attraction; regardless of the motivation the KONG was born!

Two things to take away from this story. The first, you don’t need to be bright to make money in this world, just lucky. The second, Volkswagen Van’s always break down. Get yourself a Porsche instead, preferably the Carrera GT.

Now that you know how the Kong came to be, how did I become to know the Kong?

My first encounter with it came when my mother walked in the door with that special tone in her voice that signaled I was getting something special. In her possession she had a red, honeycomb shaped item. I prefer treats to toys, so I wasn’t immediately impressed.

She ripped off the cardboard marketing material attached to Kong and dropped the red, rubbery item on the floor. I looked at it. It looked like rubber. I sniffed it. It smelled like rubber. I licked it. It tasted like rubber.

“Hmmm…what the heck am I supposed to do with this thing?” I thought. I looked up at my mother, down at the Kong, and back up at her. My eyes conveyed my thought, “You’re kidding me, right?”

Trying to encourage me she said, “Go ahead Bo. Bite it. It’s fun.”

What’s so fun about biting a piece of rubber? Why don’t I just go outside and suck on a car tire? The origin of this toy was probably China and contains chemical compounds that would most likely kill me sooner rather than later. Uh, no thanks…so I walked away…disappointed.

Then, it happened. I smelled my mother open up the jar of peanut butter. She put a spoonful, a large spoonful, of the finest peanut butter inside the Kong and gave it to me. At that moment, I knew what Fritz must have felt all those years ago when he received that rubber covered shock absorber. Fortunately mine didn’t have grease on it, just peanut butter juice. Mmm, mmm, good.

I sat there for an hour as I inserted my tongue inside Kong and withdrew the peanut butter one lick at a time. Darn, that was good stuff. When I bit down on it, the filling inside would squirt out on to the floor. This was a fun way to eat!

Over the years I’d find Kong filled with an assortment of goodies from peanut butter to Milkbones to Cool Jaks to pizza flavored Combos. It was the equivalent of a Christmas stocking that refilled itself year round. How can you beat that? You can’t, my friend, you simply can’t.

So what’s my verdict?

Advantages

- A fun way to get additional treats

- Strengthens tongue muscles

- Keeps teeth clean

- A healthy alternative to chewing on furniture and cats

Disadvantages

- Highly dependent on owner for proper operation

————-> Useless if it isn’t filled with treats

————-> Useless if filled with bad treats i.e. apples, carrots, etc

- Takes longer to get at your treats versus getting them directly by hand

- It gets slimy (and fuzzy if your owner doesn’t Swiffer often)

Bo Meter Rating:

Full Tail Wag

Rating scale from best to worst:
(Full Tail Wag, Half a Tail Wag, A Tail Wiggle, Tail Between The Legs)

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