What You Gonna Do When They Come For You?

Finally a human with a brain … Not the writer of the question but the answerer…the famed Dog Lady.

Dear Dog Lady: Halloween is my favorite time of year.

Each year, I try putting him in a costume and taking him out in the neighborhood but he refuses to wear anything. He howled until I removed the ghost sheet. He hated the pirate’s hat. Last year, I bought an elaborate pumpkin ensemble. He nipped at me when I was zipping it on and barked non-stop until I took it off. How can I train Spooky to be more comfortable in costumes?

Mariellen, Chicago

Dear Mariellen: Even in the best of times, it is hard to coax Scottish terriers to do anything they don’t want to do. Wearing clothing of any sort must drive them mad. Dog Lady sympathizes with Spooky and with any dog forced to wear funny hats or garments for the sheer purpose of tickling the funny bone of humans.

The Dog Lady clearly knows her stuff. If it were me responding to the writer it would have gone something like this:

Dear Mariellen: You are not a very smart human. Please return Spooky from wherever you got him. You owe it to him.


If you have the ability to do something about this national tragedy please do so. Don’t let your decision to just sit back and watch the fun come back to haunt you. Let me remind you of a haunting poem:

First they came for the cat and put a helmet on her, and I did not speak out – because I was not a cat.

Then they came for my sister and put a fairy princess costume on her, and I did not speak out – because I was not a fairy.

Then they came for me and put a Pumpkin Monster costume on me – and there was no one left to speak for me.

In fact, no one spoke, they all just laughed…a lot…out loud.

GoJets! GoodFairy PumpkingMonster


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