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Party Like It’s 1999

The Otis of Mayberry award goes to Dingo the black lab.Dingo Will Never Eat Yeast Again

Vienna – Vets in the Austrian town Bad Goisern had to deal with an unusual case of a severely inebriated labrador, a local newspaper reported on Monday. Last Friday, a concerned dog owner arrived at a pet clinic with three-year-old labrador “Dingo.” The dog was swaying heavily and barely able to walk, Oberoesterreichische Nachrichten newspaper said Monday.

Tests indicated a blood alcohol content of the 40-kilogram animal of 1.6 milligrams per 100 millilitres.

For those of you scoring at home, that’s twice the legal squirrel chasing limit. Left to his own devices, Dingo would probably have tried to score with the overweight cocker spaniel down the road. It’s good to have a wingman in these situations, even if it is your owner.

The dog had however not guzzled one drink too many, but according to its owner, stolen and secretly devoured half a kilogram of fresh yeast dough from the kitchen.

The unusual snack led to more than digestion problems for Dingo; alcohol was formed inside the animal’s body due to the yeast’s fermentation process. The dog was completely drunk.

Drunk Dingo presented a pitiful sight, Carl Hofbauer, the vet looking after the intoxicated labrador was quoted as saying in reports. His charge had been barely able to stand on its own four paws and needed to be held up when walking. Moreover, the dog smelled like a beer hall, the vet said.

Dingo’s owner, who uses the labrador as a hunting dog, was not overly concerned by his dog’s alcohol spree.

I imagine that while helping the black lab walk it off, his owner had comments akin to this, I wasn’t concerned, but I will admit Dingo was very annoying. He kept slurring, “Wuv You Daddy!” Frankly I lost all respect for him. I can see a cat doing this, but a canine?

I’m told that alcohol only magnifies ones personality. If a dog is good, he’s a great companion when he’s loaded. If his personality is like a cat when sober, then he’s a complete fool drunk.

If I was ever in this situation, you wouldn’t be able to tell me apart from James Dean and I ain’t talking about the sausage king.

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