March 29 | 1 Comment

Is My Nose Too Big?I wish I had parents that looked out for my well being like this lucky guy from the land down under.

No one is going to call Cooktown bull-terrier cross Apollo a sissy.

The macho mutt is the proud owner of a set of silicone testicles that, after desexing, have allowed him to keep at least the appearance of his manhood.

My manhood was taken from me at a very young age as well, but no one has offered up a new set for me to sport around.

Apollo’s owner Sarah Martin parted with $270 to order the implants over the internet from the US.

And when the two-year-old was desexed, Cooktown visiting vet Rod Gilbert popped in the “Neuticals” ensuring the pup remains all-boy on the outside. Ms Martin insisted the solid silicone implants made little difference to Apollo.

I beg to differ. My self esteem went down the tubes after the procedure and it took years of counseling and bottles of prozac to get me back to the canine I am today.

“It was nothing to do with the dog, or if he’d miss them,” Ms Martin told The Cairns Post.

“I don’t think he knows the difference. It was just that I don’t like the look of it.”

There’s a woman who knows what she likes.

But Ms Martin said the replacement testicles were about half the size of his original, real ones.

Which disappointed her because this is a woman who really knows what she likes.

But Apollo, who loves to watch TV and cuddle with his 23-year-old owner, may be a trendsetter on his home patch.

Turns out he’s the only one in his area to have fake balls.

Let’s just hope he doesn’t get addicted to cosmetic surgery like getting liposuction, breast implants or heaven forbid a pug nose job.


One Response to “Nuts!”

  1. Harleydog on July 11th, 2008 3:38 pm

    Bovines line out the door at Dr. Gilberts clinic…2 for 1 Rocky Mountain Oyster special!

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