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Sir Bark Alot

What a face!!hi there fellow woof gurls and boys.
me gots kind of an issue,well more my mommy gots an issue!
me is almost two years old now and me is beginning to guard everyfing.
it’s ok wif mommy,if me starts to bark when she’s home she will say stop that after a while….
but twice a week mommy has to come home late,and that’s the issue.
me bark and barks and barks…
mommy allready gots into a big dogfight wif the neighboor.does bo gots any advice?

big paw bull-boy.

Dear big paw bull-boy,

Owners are funny aren’t they? They want you to protect them but when you do your job really well, they get all offended. Outside of taking your owner to a owner obedience class, which they’re very reluctant to doing, it’s best to change your own behavior.

I know what you’re saying, “Hey Bo, It’s just that I’m bored to tears. I wish my owner would give me something to do during the day. I mean, I could be given a Kong with a delectable treat inside, or a nylabone or some other toy I could use to while away the time until my owner gets back.”

I understand. What I recommend, and it was very effective for me, is to rip out a picture of the gift you want from your local Dog Living Magazine and place it where your owner will see it. Inside the TV guide, placed on today’s date, is a great place for it. That’s how I got a lifetime supply of flossies, balls, kongs, and pigs ears although it never did get me that race car set I always coveted.

Admittedly, sometimes it’s not boredom that makes you bark, it’s the fact your not used to being alone. Well, here’s a great article on how your owner can change that. I’d recommend they follow the procedures outlined. Alternatively, you could help them out by making up an imaginary friend. My “friend” was George, an invisible St. Bernard from Switzerland. We would spend countless hours saving the lives of inept humans on mountain tops of Europe.

Anyway, be careful about how much you bark. You don’t want them to put one of those anti-bark shock collars on you because you didn’t have the sense to keep your pie hole shut.

In the meantime, have your mother bake some cookies and give them to your neighbor. Don’t forget to lick the bowl.
-bo

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