Fangs A Lot
June 10 | 1 Comment
How do you know you’re having a bad day? When you’re on vacation in Australia, and you stop to do your business and then this happens to you. Fortunately it happened to a human and not a canine, but even I feel embarrassed for this guy.
A ROADSIDE toilet stop ended in pain, embarrassment and almost death for a tourist when a highly venomous snake bit the end of his penis.
The deadly brown snake slithered between his legs and lunged at his manhood as he crouched on a roadside near Laura, 300km northwest of Cairns, about a month ago.
Had the tourist taken the precaution of swimming in cold water prior to using the biggest toilet on earth, chances are the snake would have missed his precious tool altogether.
“It certainly had a swipe at him,” an ambulance spokesman said yesterday. “But it didn’t envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock.”
The snake beat a hasty retreat, leaving its victim with a scratch, vomiting and abdomen pain.
It’s the same symptoms you encounter after eating the Bloomin’ Onion at Outback Steakhouse.
The wound was wrapped in plastic in case poison had penetrated the skin but medical staff gave the man the all-clear after conducting tests. He was taken to Cooktown Hospital where he spent a night recovering.
The ambulance spokesman described him as “lucky”, given his near encounter with one of Australia’s most poisonous snakes.
“I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed,” he said.
Also shocked and embarrassed was the snake who thought he was greeting a long lost friend.