MySpace From Outer Space

June 12 | 3 Comments

Bring it on TinyIf the old adage “the bigger they are, the harder they fall” is true, then Boris, the bull mastiff, is going to have one tough landing. Why do I say this? Because Boris can be seen from outer space! That, my friends, is big.

Most owners worry about losing their dogs if they slip through the front door – but with Boris, the bull mastiff, it is unlikely to be a major concern. The dog, which weighs in at a stagger 14 stone, is so large he can even be spotted from space.

Fourteen stone equates to one thousand nine hundred and six pounds…no, no check that…it’s 196 pounds. Damn decimal point gets me every time. Regardless, the average Boris poop is the size and in the shape of a shetland pony.

Boris, who is only three-years-old, can be seen on Google Earth images as he lazes in the sun outside his owners’ house. His enormous brown body is clearly visible stretched out in his favourite position on his front garden. The dog often lounges for hours on end next to the sundial and was in his usual spot when the Google satellite snapped him in the garden.

When told of the find, Boris asked, “Does the satellite make my ass look fat?”

His owners, the Milner family, were stunned when they zoomed in on their seaside hotel on the internet to find a brown blob in the garden. Owner Fran Milner says Boris loves nothing more than lying in the sun.

In the UK, Boris’ love of the sun means that he lays out an average of eight days out of the year. If he enjoyed lounging about in cloudy, rainy weather he’d be out there 357 days out of the year, not counting sick days.

Fran Milner, whose parents run the Tudor Grange Hotel in Bournemouth, Dorset, were looking at their grounds on Google Earth when they spotted their pet. Boris is now considered a celebrity among guests who line up to have their picture taken with him.

Boris is kinda like Michael Moore. A celebrity, oversized and easily spotted from outer space.

The Milner family have owned Boris since he was eight-weeks-old. The average size of a bull mastiff is nine stones but they suspected he would be on the large size as his dad was also enormous. Fran said they also think Boris’ size is also down to a full English breakfast he eats every morning.

Although he draws the line at ingesting the spotted dick breakfast special.


3 Responses to “MySpace From Outer Space”

  1. Tod Dorset on June 17th, 2008 6:06 am

    My God,

    Boris really is some dog. Haven’t they just elected him as Lord Mayor of LOndon?

  2. Harleydog on June 18th, 2008 6:01 pm

    Me thinks mommy Fran has stopped her European sunbathing

  3. United States of America on June 23rd, 2008 2:12 pm

    Where is this dog? What city and what adress?

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