Roscoe P. Coltrane Wants Your Vote

July 29 | 2 Comments

Sucking Up To His BaseWe all want different things from life.  I want a bowl full of human chow with a glass of milk on the side, a comfortable bed to sleep the day away in and an owner with an IQ bigger than his shoe size. But, as the Rolling Stones say, you can’t always get what you want.

Enter Willie Bean Roscoe P. Coltrane into the discussion. All he wants is a little power over the people of Fairhope, Alabama. That’s why he’s running for mayor although it looks like the odds may be against him.

FAIRHOPE, Ala. (AP) – One of the candidates in the race to become Fairhope’s next mayor is considerably more hairy than the rest. He also has twice as many legs and a constantly wagging tail. Wille Bean Roscoe P. Coltrane is a 7-year-old yellow Labrador retriever whose owner has taken a satirical poke at politics by launching the pooch into the race.

But Willie Bean may not be up for that rough-and-tumble world. “When a little dog barks at him, he cringes and he runs away,” owner Tress Turner told the Press-Register in a story Sunday.

I’ll reserve judgment on Willie Bean’s candidacy until I find out his response to the dog’s barks. What is his proposal to stopping illegal chihuahua’s cross the border, his plans for getting tough on Islamic terriers and his solution to the high price of leashe? Dogs want to know.

Some of his supporters say all the politicking, name-dropping and sign-maneuvering in the seven-man Fairhope mayoral race is wearing on them weeks ahead of the Aug. 26 election.

“I think he polishes up the field,” said Vince Kilborn, 66, of Fairhope. “We need new blood.”

Kilborn, former Gov. Don Siegelman’s chief attorney in his ongoing criminal corruption case, added about the dog: “He doesn’t have any skeletons in his closet. He’s eaten them all.”

Clearly, Kilbron is mad that Willie Bean is smarter than his client.

Willie Bean doesn’t have a realistic shot at being Fairhope’s next mayor.

But before I totally count Willie Bean out, isn’t this exactly what they said about Pedro Sanchez, too?


2 Responses to “Roscoe P. Coltrane Wants Your Vote”

  1. Ternfebyrem on September 22nd, 2008 6:31 am

    favorited this one, brother

  2. Pravin on February 5th, 2012 11:33 am

    Hopefully, OCA WILL BE ON THEIR LIST FOR 2008…SOONER RATHER THAN LATER! These ckoros (OCA) are cleaning up hard, so the FEDS can’t see anything. I really hope someone has obtained all the information and witnesses they needed before OCA got a wiff! OCA MAY BE CORRUPT, BUT THEY REALLY LEAVE TRACES OF ALL THEY DO EVERYWHERE..THEY ARE A DETECTIVES BIGGEST DREAM!

Got something to say?