Hero Grasshopper Loses Battle

grasshopper.jpg“Grasshopper, when you can take this spinach from my hand, then you will truly be master,” the old man said to the multi-armed green warrior.

What the hopper of grass didn’t understand was that he wasn’t ready to take on the spinach fields of Mexico just yet. In a fateful move, he packed his Teenage Ninja Turtle backpack and jumped his way south of the border. It was here he found the land that Popeye dreamed of, leafy green fields as far as the eye could see.

This place, he knew, would allow him to practice his craft and to become master, if only given the time. However, it wasn’t long before he was plucked from the earth by a plump hand and put into a burlap sack.

After taking a supervised tour of the local processing plant, he began the journey back home in an aluminum tube; destination Denver.¬† No it wasn’t an aluminum tube shaped like a plane, but more like a can. Sadly, here our hero died leading to the following story:

¬†DENVER, July 31 (UPI) — A Denver-area woman says that she opened a can of spinach and found half a dead grasshopper inside.

“I just think it’s very gross,” Donna Labrador told the Denver Post. “I will never eat another can of veggies again. Probably not spinach, anyway.”

She called the company that canned the spinach and got the promise of a mailer to send in the grasshopper for tests. She also hopes for a refund.

The grasshopper, wrapped up in toilet paper, was in her refrigerator. Labrador said that by Friday she might be hungry enough to resume eating — although not canned vegetables.

“What’s this grasshopper doing in my spinach?” she asked.

“Why ma’am it’s obvious. He’s doing the backstroke”


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