Pentagon Prepares for Cat Fight

Sniper BrainiacWe’re in the middle of the 2008 presidential race and we’re all having to listen to how both candidates will clean up Washington, making this country a lean, mean economic and social justice machine. Blah, blah, blah…

I say blah, blah, blah because I need proof that things are going to change. I challenge the candidates to convince me via actions, not worthless words. A good place to start is by putting an end to this experiment.

The Pentagon’s crash program to create an artificial brain is just about up and running. And, if it all goes as planned, we could see an electronic chip that mimics the “function, size, and power consumption” of a cat’s cortex some time in the next decade.

In case you were daydreaming while reading that last paragraph, let me re-state what the Pentagon is wasting your working dog,  taxpayer dollars on. They are creating a chip that mimics the brain of a cat. Yeah, a cat.

If they wanted to save time, effort and money all they’d have to do is buy a can of Pringles. Those chips have twice the capacity of the feline mind, plus they taste much better too.

“The follow-on phases of the project will create a technology that functions like the brain of a cat, which comprises 108 neurons and 1012 synapses,” Dr. Narayan Srinivasa, SyNAPSE Program Manager and Senior Scientist, said. “The human brain has roughly 1011 neurons and 1015 synapses.”

What’s our army’s vision of the future of warfare if a cat’s brain is going to be a key weapon? If you ask me, all the enemy will need to do to win is just throw water on our cat-brain powered equipment.

Neurons and synapses are a terrible thing to waste. Especially at the Pentagon.


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