Mice on a Plane

I don’t mind telling you that I don’t like to fly. I think that if God had wanted dogs to fly, he would have given us a lifetime supply of first class upgrade vouchers. Last time I checked there wasn’t a voucher to be found in any one of my paws.

Well, it turns out mice have a different viewpoint. Take a gander at this article.

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Polar Bear Explodes In Pool

Yesterday I had a Winnie the Pooh story, today I follow it up with a Winne the Pooher.

Here’s a little video, not for the faint of heart crowd, of a polar bear taking a dump in the water he swims in. It’s a bit disturbing, and akin to me taking a dump in bed. Normal protocal prohibits it, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

I will say, great camera work on this one. It should win an Oscar for cinematography.

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Winnie The Pooh Robs Tourist

These are troubling times. No, not for me but for child actors and cartoon characters the world over.

The latest episode has Winnie the Pooh robbing some tourists in Tokyo. No doubt it’s probably to feed his methamphetamine habit. You can read all about it here.

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SuperPoo Escapes Exhibit – Hits Children’s Home

Artists, they can be so temperamental. Me? I can be temperamental too, but I never thought that I had anything in common with the creative class.

However, if the object of this next story is truly art, then it appears I may be an artist after all. Check it out.

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Upside Down Fish is Gold for Pub

We all view the world in different ways.  Some see it as a world filled with treat givers, others as a world of treat takers but at least we all see the physical world the same way – right side up.

Well, a goldfish in the UK has spurned this world view and decided to mark it’s time on earth by doing it upside down. How it keeps from getting headaches, I don’t know, but it’s certainly turned into quite a tourist attraction at its local pub.

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House Burned to Get Rid of Wasps

You know how sometimes when you try to fix a problem you end up causing more trouble for yourself than what the initial problem posed?

It’s like when I’m hungry and decide to get food out of the garbage. I knock over the pail, pull out the bag and rip it to shreds looking for some decaying food to eat. Once I find it, I chow it down like it’s a prime rib just cut off a cow carcass at Sam the Butchers. Sure I’m not hungry anymore but after eating the rotting garbage I find myself sitting on the toilet bowl for the next three days. More trouble than it’s worth. Just ask my colon.

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New Father at 111 – No It’s Not Tony Randall

Hope comes in all different shapes and sizes. Today it comes in the form of a lizard.

The hope? That some day I may procreate and produce Bo Jr. I know it sounds impossible, especially given that I had my nads removed, but if a 111 year old lizard can slip one by the goalie, I should be able to figure out a way to do the same. Check out the story.

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Bull Goes Swimming in Neighbor’s Pool

I’m hot. No, not as in good looking hot, but as in temperature hot.  Today the temperature will be in the 90′s but with the humidity it will feel like 105.

If only my parents would buy a pool to allow me to cool off in. If I had a pool I’d lather sunscreen onto my milky white fur, blow up my inflatable raft and lounge around on top of the water all day. If that isn’t paradise I don’t know what is.

But it’s something I won’t have a chance to experience since my parents have too many concerns about owning a pool. No they’re not concerned about safety, but about having to entertain unexpected visitors they don’t want to associate with.

Sadly, the following story gives them even more ammunition to keep me from my backyard whitewater nirvana.

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Mine Sniffing Rats on a Leash

We all know there are lots of rats crawling around in this world. Lest you think I’m typing figuratively here, take a gander at the following story.

That’s right, we’ve got bomb sniffing rats taking biscuits right out of the mouths of dogs that would love to have that job, and don’t try to tell me this is a job a canine wouldn’t do.  In fact this is one of the things every dog has dreamed of from the time they were a pup.

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Hero Grasshopper Loses Battle

“Grasshopper, when you can take this spinach from my hand, then you will truly be master,” the old man said to the multi-armed green warrior.

What the hopper of grass didn’t understand was that he wasn’t ready to take on the spinach fields of Mexico just yet. In a fateful move, he packed his Teenage Ninja Turtle backpack and jumped his way south of the border. It was here he found the land that Popeye dreamed of, leafy green fields as far as the eye could see.

This place, he knew, would allow him to practice his craft and to become master, if only given the time. However, it wasn’t long before he was plucked from the earth by a plump hand and put into a burlap sack.

After taking a supervised tour of the local processing plant, he began the journey back home in an aluminum tube; destination Denver.  No it wasn’t an aluminum tube shaped like a plane, but more like a can. Sadly, here our hero died leading to the following story:

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