Carriage Ride

We Should Have Taken The LimoRomance. Chicks dig that. Even doggie chicks. But me, I’d rather concentrate on where my next peanut butter treat is coming from.  Granted, it probably has a lot to do with the fact I’m neutered, but hey, I feel what I feel.

So the following story about a romantic carriage ride in Brooklyn gone awry makes me chuckle.

A fairy tale wedding march went from nice to nuts Sunday when two horses pulling a Cinderella-style carriage broke loose on a Brooklyn street, police and witnesses said.

The buggy’s driver flew out of his seat and landed on the windshield of a Lincoln Town Car at 12th Ave. and 65th St. in Bay Ridge, cops said.

See what you get when you try to be lovey dovey? I’m sure bride and groom would agree that the gas guzzling limo the buggy’s driver landed on would have been a more appropriate choice.

The groom and bride were walking to the carriage when the pole connecting the horses to the carriage snapped, causing the two white horses to panic.

“The horses got startled,” said Israel Rodriguez, 51, who saw the wreck.

“One of the carriage drivers was dressed well, like Prince Charming,” he said. “But the horses started running and threw him out.”

We’ve seen this phenomenon countless times, haven’t we? I don’t know how many times I’ve seen seemingly smart and intelligent beings push their Prince Charming’s out of their lives. I just realized I need to stop sleeping in the living room while my mother watches the Lifetime channel. You know the channel, it’s the one that uses two formulas to decide on its programming choices: male = bad, female = good.

“I saw the horses take off across 65th St.,” [Dominick] Cappiello said. Within seconds, the buggy’s driver was on top of the Town Car, he said. “I was shocked. It was something like you see on TV,” Cappiello said.

A nearby light pole stopped the horses from running farther down 12th Ave. Police said the reins broke as the driver tried to steer the animals.

You’ll never have this much trouble getting a peanut butter treat, unless of course it’s still in that darn jar.


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