Cow Arrested For Disorderly Conduct
October 1 | 1 Comment
You know Jokin’ Jonny Moocow as the bovine with a cutting sense of humor. He’s also the cow that’s promised me a video to post here but hasn’t come through. Maybe he’s busy grazing in the fields of New York or doing standup in the barn.
Regardless, if you don’t get me what you promise, then I will expose you, or those of your ilk, through my investigative journalism. Today’s victim, no doubt a friend of Moocow, a drunk heffer in Ohio.
A new case of mad cow disease was discovered when a woman dressed up in an udderley strange costume started chasing kids around a theme park.
Michelle Allen was arrested after she was caught causing chaos in the streets.
The drunken 32-year-old even urinated on a neighbour’s front garden and asked people to ‘suck my udders.’
It seems the rules for cows are a bit stricter than for canines. I have to admit, I’ve chased kids, I’ve urinated in my neighbor’s garden and told people to ‘kiss my grits’ but I never spent a night in jail for it. But then again, I have to spend my nights in the same room that my father rearranges the furniture, with his snoring. That’s punishment enough.
She had been hired to wear the outfit to advertise for a local “haunted trail” theme park.
But she left the job to go on a drunken two-day binge.
Judge Mark Wall at the Mooonicipal (sorry, we mean Municipal) court Ohio sentenced her to 30 days in jail for her own good.
But when she was taken to jail she really put her foot and mouth in it when she started shouting at other inmates telling them to “suck her udders.”
Police said that the cow suit was all she had on and had to take her mugshot while she was still wearing it.
I think she looks good. The pink in the udders really brings out her eyes.