Go Swimming with Killer Crocodiles

I could lie to you and tell you I love water and enjoy swimming, but I’d be lying.

It must be the chow chow that drives my H2O fears rather than the golden retriever coursing through my veins.

Or it may just be that accident I had when I was five, where I had mistaken a leaf on a water for a rock and nearly drowned after stepping on it. My parents’ laughing at me didn’t help.

In return I’d like to offer them a vacation to Crocosaurus Cove, where they can go swimming with Crocodiles.

You read that right, humans in water with crocs, on a voluntary basis.  Read more

Begging Bears Show No Shame

I thought I was a shameless beggar, but I’ve got nothing on these bears.

I think they’re actually mocking these dim witted tourists.

Joe Camel Wants To Be Milked

I love chocolate but am not allowed to have any. Apparently they say it will kill.

You may be asking who ‘they’ is. Well, ‘they’ are humans, and the only reason I can think of for them continuing to push this agenda is that they want chocolate all to themselves. Sure they throw a bone our way by giving us chocolate flavored carobs every once in a while, but it ain’t like the real thing.

This morning I read about a new brand of chocolate, and I wonder to myself, “Hmmm, Bo, I wonder whether you will be allowed to have any of this?”

It’s chocolate, but not the traditional kind.

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Dog’s Jaws Glued Shut by Junk Mail

Let me just reiterate what many of you already know. I’m not a dog that’s going to be trained to make my owners’ lives easier.  I know this isn’t the case in a lot of households, but I can’t change the world.  I can only make suggestions and hope some of you canines see the wisdom in my words.

If told to “Go get me my slippers”, just say no and lick their feet. Make sure to get in between the toes, that’s where the good cheesy taste is.

When they demand you “Fetch me the paper”, respectfully suggest they go online to get their news instead.

And if ordered to “Get me a beer from the fridge”, do so, but make sure to drink it before bringing it back. If that makes you pee, do so in the confines of the house.

Let’s face it, we weren’t put on this earth for them, they were put on this earth for us.

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Free, Easy Links To Pics for Bloggers

As the world’s premiere dog blogger, I’m always looking to find just the right picture to post next to my entries. Lots of times I’ll just use the original story’s pix, but sometimes even they just don’t do my extraordinary commentary justice.

Enter in acobox.com to help find those awesome blog pictures that always seem so elusive.

So what does Acobox do?

They collect, screen, and host quality pictures for bloggers. All images are properly licensed, optimized, and ready use with blogs.

For adding a picture to blog post, what blogger needs to do is simply copying and pasting a piece of image code, without downloading, resizing, uploading the image file. It’s simple, easy, and free!

Did you read that? Simple and Free. Kinda like my old man and the stock tips he gets.

Searching for images is quick and easy. Once you have the picture you like, it’s as simple as copy in the link information into your post and your set to go. So easy, even a human can understand it.

So here’s an image that I found, and can now use on this site, free of charge.

Who doesn’t like puppies?

For those scoring at home, add$5 to the donation fund.

Dog Takes Auto Through Car Wash

I’ve noticed that dog stories of like kind come in bunches. That’s why, only one day after writing about the poor driving of two canines, I find yet another story of an accident ‘allegedly’ the result of canine driving error.

This time, it happened in a car wash.

A dog waiting in a car while at a car wash slipped the vehicle into gear and drove in a loop before the car came to a stop. Read more

Elvis Spotted Attacking Pensioner

As an experienced canine I’ve learned one thing: do not bite the hand that feeds you. If you do, you can kiss your milkbones, cheweys and the fatty parts of steaks goodbye.

I didn’t come to this conclusion because of my book learnin’ but because of my street smarts.

You’d think that an animal living in the streets would be just as wise and follow in my pawsteps. Not so. You see, Elvis the squirrel bit the one hand that was there to help him.

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Pigs Stolen – Stuffed in Van

I love bacon just as much as the next dog, if not more.  No I’m not talking about Kevin Bacon, but rather, the food.

Although I like it, I would never go to the lengths a couple of Hungarian thieves did in procuring their porcine.

Wouldn’t it have just been easier to go to the local McDonalds and just order a Bacon, Ham and Cheese biscuit? Or head over to the Honeybaked Ham company for their signature dish? Heck, I’d even go so far as sitting down at a Waffle House for some fried fat bacon before trying to kidnap a dozen pigs. But then again, I do enjoy the path of least resistance.

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Dogs Crash Car

I hate stories like the following one since it perpetrates the myth that dogs are bad drivers.

I’ve had some time behind the wheel of a Ford Mustang, you can read all about it in my upcoming book, and I never had an accident or received a ticket.

However, two dogs in Sweden can’t say the same.

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I’m Thirsty

I like this dog’s style. If the water from the fridge is good enough for the owners, then it should be good for canines.

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