Udderly Ridiculous

The last good udder I touched was my mother’s. It was warm and soft, providing me with a delicious treat every time I tugged on it. Oh to be young again.

Sadly, when I try to suckle on my father’s man-boob today, he just pushes me away. I guess it’s a good thing I’m a leg dog.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that today’s story is about cows and their ability to produce milk for the masses. It turns out that there’s an easy way to increase production.

The Guardian has all the details.

Cows with names such as Ermintrude and Daisy produce more milk than cattle without names, researchers claimed today.

The study, which has prompted a pull-the-udder-one attitude among sceptics, said cows treated with “the personal touch” are happier, and produce higher milk yields than cows treated as just one of a herd.

Researchers from Newcastle University asked 516 British dairy farmers about their attitude to the behaviour and welfare of their cows. Those who called cows by name said they had a 258-litre higher milk yield than those who did not.

Dr Catherine Douglas, who conducted the research, said: “By placing more importance on the individual, such as calling a cow by her name or interacting with the animal more as it grows up, we not only improve the animal’s welfare and her perception of humans, but also increase milk production.”

She added: “Just as people respond better to the personal touch, cows also feel happier and more relaxed if they are given a bit more one-to-one attention. What our study shows is what many good, caring farmers have long since believed.”

I wonder how much extra milk they could get a cow to produce if they read to her in bed at night?


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