Cool Hippo in Hot Water
June 30, 2009 | 1 Comment
Damn it’s hot here in Atlanta. Upper 90′s, high humidity with a sprinkling of cough inducing smog.
Going outside is really no different than smoking a carton of Marlboro 100′s in a sauna. The end result is the same, a few pounds of water weight off your chassis and a few months off your life expectancy.
Makes you wonder what my parents were thinking when they moved me here.
At least if I’m going to be forced outside you’d think I’d be provided one of this blow up kiddie pools to lay my weary bones down in…and a mask to cover my mouth like Jacko used to wear. But alas, concern for me is secondary.
Eggsellent Lobster Find
June 29, 2009 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
I’ve consumed lamb and rice flavored pellets of food, day in and day out for the past ten years. The previous six was spent downing artificially flavored, and I suspect colored, beef and rice dog chow. They call it chow for a reason, and it isn’t because it’s a delicacy.
I find it amazing my mother still expects me to wag with excitement when she appears from the laundry room with bowl in hand to ask me, “Bo, Bo want dinner?”
Eh, not really. How about a treat instead?
Hoppy Has Cat Scratch Fever
June 26, 2009 | 2 Comments
There’s a perception out there in the human community that dogs are mean based simply on their breed.
I find that despicable. Take for instance Chow Chow’s, of which I share an abundance of chromosomes with, who are seen as territorial thugs. Me a territorial thug? Only when it comes to the jar of peanut butter I hover over.
Let me go on the record and say it isn’t the breed, it’s how they were raised. I’m the greatest example, not an angry bone in my body.
On the other side of the spectrum is Scrappy.
Reason Behind Crop Circles Revealed
June 25, 2009 | 1 Comment
A friend of mine got hit by a car a few years back. He broke his leg in two places and had pins surgically implanted to fuse the bones together.
Throughout his rehab I’d visit him often to lift his spirits. It seemed he was always a bit out of it. Turns out he was hitting the pain medication a bit too hard. Months after he was walking normally again, he was still partaking in the medicine.
We held an intervention.
Canine Nose What He Likes
June 24, 2009 | 1 Comment
I have a brother. His name is Logan and he is a Bernese Mountain Dog.
This particular breed is big in stature although Logan falls on the small side, or what I like to call a Pocket Berner. You know, because you can put him in your pocket. Granted, it needs to be big enough to carry 82 lbs.
His diminutive size is probably due to him not receiving the appropriate nutrition and care a growing pup needs. That, or his father was a midget. Â Either way, he’s small.
Sweet Smell of Health
June 23, 2009 | 1 Comment
Today’s story: not weird, not crazy just another reason to love us four legged, fuzzy creatures.
That’s right, not only are we adorable, non-judgemental and eager to please, but now we’re also getting into the human healthcare game.
Turns out our noses are life savers. No, not the green, red or yellow variety but the soul saving kind. A sniff here and a sniff there and we can tell whether a diabetic’s blood sugar falls to a dangerous level.
Of course it is at this point the true test of being man’s best friend comes into play. Ask yourself, are you going to give up that Butterfinger bar in your fur suit to save that human?
Chicken Therapy for the Soul
June 22, 2009 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
A few of my friends are therapy dogs. You know, the kind of dogs that get to be taken out a few times a week to help humans with whatever ails them.
From what they tell me, it’s a pretty good gig. You get a car ride, all the love you could want and a healthy dose of treats. Let’s face it, who’s going to say no to a patient wanting to give up a portion of her cheese sandwich? Certainly not Pumpkin or her owners.
So I’ve started to look into getting into the therapy game. Turns out that at my age, I should be getting therapy visits instead of giving them. Just know, ain’t nobody getting a piece of my cheese sandwich when they come for a visit.
Moose Tracks
June 18, 2009 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
“Down the stretch they come!! It looks like Secretariat will win it easily…but wait…there on the outside a late charge by…Bullwinkle?…wins the race.”
Destiny. Some of us are meant to fulfill it, others are only meant to come enticingly close.
Me? I’ve fulfilled mine. You see I was destined to become a love machine. You put one Milkbone in the mouth slot and you get a single serving of love in the shape of a lick, a paw or a sniff of a crotch in return.
Sophie Gives a Hoot
June 16, 2009 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
Give a hoot, don’t pollute.
That’s what comes to mind when I take a look at the picture on the left. The phrase has nothing to do with the story I’m featuring today other than it being uttered by an owl on US television for years. Or it used to be, anyway. I think this breed of bird isn’t the advertising draw it used to be. But then again, are you really going to top the Tootsie roll lollipop commercials?
Anyway, is it me or does the owl look like a cat with a bad Halloween costume?
Shoes – A Foxy Addiction
June 15, 2009 | 2 Comments
I’ve lived my entire life without having to put on footwear. That includes sneakers, boots, dress shoes or even socks.
That all changed recently when the strength of my back legs began to deteriorate. You see we have hardwood floors. Floors my mother finds the need to keep slick like ice. Not the semi-slippery ice driven on by Ice Road Truckers but rather the frozen, anti-friction surface used for speed skating. This makes it difficult to stay upright.
