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Simian Crime Wave

Monkey training puppy to steal?

Times are tough.

So tough that many are saying this is the second coming of the Depression. I believe it.

At the local dog park I hear horror stories of what some humans are doing to their beloved canines. Calvin, a wheaton terrier, has had his food switched from the canned goodness of horse meat to the artificially flavored world of dry kibble. Ouch.

Sam, a sheepdog, hasn’t had a haircut since the demise of Lehman Brothers. Poor dog can’t see where he’s going…or where he’s been. Good thing he’s got a strong sense of smell.

Nixon, a cocker spaniel, has owners that qualified for some of the bailout funds being given out. Now the government won’t let them give Nixon any bonus treats, plus they are being told when he can be walked. What’s next, GPS collars?

After getting home this afternoon, I wondered if it was just in the dog world that things seem to be spinning out of control. Then I saw the following story and realized it’s impacting every species. KSDK in St. Louis has all the details.

NBC — It’s a crime caught on camera that has the owners of a north Texas business going bananas.

They have security camera video of what appears to be a monkey burglarizing their business.

Yes, a primate is the prime suspect in the latest break-in at this Richardson, Texas nursery.

“I said no way until I look at it and said this is crazy,” said store co-owner Shelley Rosenfeld.

The owners of “Plants and Planters” are convinced that’s a monkey in the bottom left hand corner of the security camera tape.

“You can see the back legs the front arms and the white head,” observes Duncan.

And with the help of a human accomplice, Shelley Rosenfeld believes the monkey was trained to steal several hundred dollars worth of her merchandise.

“He went out in this section out here and handed plants over the gate,” she days.

About 40 plants were missing the next morning.

For now, Richardson police are stuck with the job of figuring out who or what this is.

“I wouldn’t think there would be too many monkeys in this city,” Duncan says.

They should check city hall. I’m sure there’s plenty of monkey business going on there.

…and of course this story wouldn’t be complete without the video, so here it is.

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