Elsie the Cow Makes Lemonade

“I’d like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony.” Do you remember that song from the famous Coke commercials from an era long gone bye? I do. That’s why I still drink Coke today. Sorry Pepsi.

In India, they’re trying to phase out both colas by introducing a delectable alternative.  If I told what it was you wouldn’t believe me so I’ll just copy and paste this story from The Times Online.

Does your Pepsi lack pep? Is your Coke not the real thing? India’s Hindu nationalist movement apparently has the answer: a new soft drink made from cow urine.

The bovine brew is in the final stages of development by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India’s biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, according to the man who makes it.

Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink – called “gau jal”, or “cow water” – in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and would be launched “very soon, maybe by the end of this year”.

He insisted, however, that it would be able to compete with the American cola brands, even with their enormous advertising budgets. “We’re going to give them good competition as our drink is good for mankind,” he said. “We may also think of exporting it.”

“Don’t worry, it won’t smell like urine and will be tasty too,” he told The Times from his headquarters in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the River Ganges. “Its USP will be that it’s going to be very healthy.”

Interesting…that’s the same logic I use on my parents when they tell me not to lick my pee pee.


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