Pachyderms Love Nice Buns
January 14 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
Ever notice how they like to command you to do things? Sit…stay…come…no…No…NO!
Do they really think we’re going to comply if it isn’t in our best interest?
If I want food, I whine. If I want to be petted, I raise my paw and expose my belly. If I want to run free, I slip my leash. It’s my agenda we’re following not theirs.
It makes me wonder what goes on inside their delusional heads.
The latest example of their superiority fantasy is their belief that they can win a hot dog bun eating contest against…elephants. The Metro has the details.
Making the most of their not insignificant weight advantage, three circus elephants scored a decisive victory over three human competitive eaters at a cross-species eating contest on Friday.
The elephants triumphed by forcing down 505 hot dog buns in six minutes – while the humans could only manage 143 buns in the same time, in the contest at Brooklyn’s Coney Island.
The elephants, Bunny, Susie and Minnie – all in their 40s – ate at what appeared to be a leisurely pace from behind a table piled high with buns. They even paused to eat some fresh fruit, which was not counted toward scoring.
Their human competitors were far more focused. Eric ‘Badlands’ Booker, a New York City subway conductor who is the world champion in corned beef hash eating, took a double-fisted approach, dipping two buns at once into liquid to make them go down easier.
Juliet Lee, a petite 43-year-old, is the world cranberry sauce champion, a title she won by eating 13.23 pounds of the sauce in eight minutes.
Tim ‘Gravy’ Brown, whose claim to fame is having eaten 8.47 pounds (3.84 kilograms) of blueberry pie in an eight-minute, handsfree competition, rounded out the team.
‘We went all out, hungry and focused,’ said Booker, who like the others was preparing for Saturday’s annual Fourth of July hot dog eating contest.
Contest organizers called the results a ‘setback for humanity.’
Humanity is used to it by now.
If it were me, I would have donned my mighty mouse costume and won this event easily. But then again, I’m much brighter than the average human.
Check out the video of the event: