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Buffaloes – A Steep Price for Love

I admit it. I’ve cheated on my parents.

These trists occur when I’m out alone touring this great land of ours, typically occurring after a backyard break out that had been planned for days.

Once out, I’ll seek the nearest stranger offering comfort. Comfort in food that is. I don’t care if they’re holding a hot dog, a delectable human snack or even a rubber chicken, I’ll stop and let them pet me. Surely, and inevitably, a nibble of what’s in their hands is next.

Some may call that doggie prostitution, but hey, you do what you gotta do to survive.

But is this really wrong and a betrayal of my parents?

I don’t know, is it really cheating if I only let them pet me on the head? It’s not like I roll over to expose my belly for them to rub. I guess it all depends on your own moral compass. Speaking of which, mine points to the nearest food source.

But hey, at least I have control over my situation. In Malaysia buffaloes and pigs have no rights at all.  The Star Online has all the details of this sordid situation.

KOTA KINABALU: Four buffaloes, a pig and RM2,000 – this was the fine a court imposed on a man and his wife’s colleague for having an illicit affair.

The two were convicted by the Penampang Native Court here on Friday under customary native laws, after the man’s wife filed a complaint against them last year.

During the hearing, the woman claimed her husband had become indifferent to her after he enrolled for a degree course at a university here in 2006. She claimed she later found him and her colleague living together in a house in the city, and that when she confronted them there, her husband was clad in shorts while his lover was in a sarong.

The court fined the man RM1,000 and ordered him to pay compensation of a buffalo or RM1,500 to his wife, a pig or RM500 to his two sons and another buffalo or RM1,500 to his Kampung Langkuas folks in Papar.

He was also ordered to pay RM200 in monthly expenses for his two sons by the three-man bench comprising Penampang district officer William Sampil, and native chiefs Johney Molijo and Adrian Sikawah.

The man’s lover was fined RM1,000 and ordered to compensate his wife with one buffalo and her village in Keningau district with another buffalo.

Sampil, in delivering the ruling, said although the man and his lover claimed they were “best friends” in their defence, the court found strong evidence of their intimate affair.

Hey, everyone knows a man’s best friend is a dog, not some cheap hussy flaunting her herd of buffaloes around.

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