Boozing Monkey Sent to Rehab

funny dog book, bad to the boneWe all have our vices.

My canine sister Copper is obsessed with farts, my feline sister Mothball is fascinated by the cursor on this screen and, I hate to admit it, I can’t make it through a day without barking at squirrels.

These are heavy burdens to carry but it beats the one loading down my parents. In short, they’re addicted to love. Love of the furry kind.

Our house is now fur central with the addition of several new members. In addition to Copper and Mothball, they have added into the mix Patience and Goliath. Both are rescues from the Bernese Auction Rescue Coalition, and as the name implies, Bernese Mountain Dogs. There isn’t much space on the bed these days.

What was once my lone domain is now littered with pups. My only recourse is to call animal control and report my family as hoarders. It’s the only way to get my spot on the pillow back.

I guess it could be worse. My parents could be the chimpanzee in today’s story courtesy of Reuters.

MOSCOW (Reuters) – A Russian chimpanzee has been sent to rehab by zookeepers to cure the smoking and beer-drinking habits he has picked up, a popular daily reported on Friday.

An ex-performer, Zhora became aggressive at his circus and was transferred to a zoo in the southern Russian city of Rostov, where he fathered several baby chimps, learned to draw with markers and picked up his two vices.

“The beer and cigarettes were ruining him. He would pester passers-by for booze,” the Komsomolskaya Pravda paper said.

It added he has now been transferred to the city of Kazan, about 800 km (500 miles) east of Moscow, for rehabilitation treatment.

(Reporting by Tanya Ustinova, writing by Amie Ferris-Rotman)

Next stop: Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.


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