Dog Tip: How to Lose 20-Pounds Quickly

Is Dr. House here yet?How can my old man lose 40 lbs of ugly fat really fast?

By cutting off his head.

How does my neighbor Dino, a dachshund, lose 20 lbs of ugly fat really fast?

By divorcing his chihuahua wife.

Hahaha…I got loads of ‘em folks and I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress. Try the veal. You’ve been a great audience goodnight everydog.

OK, so losing weight hasn’t been my thing lately, and like a lot of dogs I’m looking for the easy way out.

Excercise is a non starter since it doesn’t excite me any more. Achey breaky bones will do that to a dog’s will. Cutting back on my meals isn’t an option either, especially now that my normal kibble is covered with bacon bits. And my supply of goodies from Bisket Baskets? Touch ‘em and I’ll gum you to death.

I’m still in search of the best way to reduce my thunder thighs, but I know one path I won’t take. WCVB from Boston has the story of a golden retriever of this path less traveled…for a reason.

BOSTON — Surgeons at Boston’s Angell Animal Medical Center removed a 21-pound tumor from a Labrador retriever, the largest tumor veterinarians there had ever seen.

Warren, 13, fully recovered from the surgery last spring to remove the tumor that had grown to one-sixth his body weight.

The tumor had grown so large it made walking difficult for the dog and his breathing became increasingly labored.

Surgeons faced the problem of dealing with the cavity that was created once the mass was removed.

“Warren has since spent the past five months enjoying his lightened frame following the lifesaving surgery,” Duddy said.

I’m convinced the only way to lighten my frame is to dye my fur blonde. But it’s not all bad, the local gals here like their pups with a little junk in the trunk.

So, are you dog enough to click on this link and see what a 21lb tumor looks like? Well are you?

I didn’t think so.


Got something to say?