You Are So Beautiful
April 19 | 1 Comment
It’s fortunate my parents get their idea of canine beauty from the former, otherwise they would have passed right by me on the fateful day they adopted me. Not to be cocky or anything, but when I say I’m handsome I’m not sure I’m doing myself justice. Remember, it ain’t cocky if you can back it up.
But some are less fortunate than me. In Des Moines they decided to throw a self-esteem bone to some bulldogs. You know, to try to make them feel special because they don’t got a lot going on in life. I’m not trying to be mean, but have you ever seen one up close?
Let me just say that if you haven’t had the privilege of taking a female bulldog out on a date, you’re in for a treat. At dinner be prepared to watch the drool run down her face and on onto her plate. She won’t even use a fork to eat her kibble. At the movies you won’t be able to hear over her panting. Not lustful panting, but panting like she just ran a marathon.
Not only will you drop her off before curfew, but even before you smelled her, uhmm, ear.
Anyway, here’s the info from the Des Moines contest from the AP.
DES MOINES, Iowa – For three years, Porterhouse was so close to the title he could drool on it. Now, the Beautiful Bulldog crown is his to slobber on for the rest of the year. After two runner-up finishes and one “Mr. Congeniality” title, Porterhouse finally nabbed “top dog” honors Monday when he was crowned the winner of Drake University’s annual Beautiful Bulldog Contest in downtown Des Moines.
Porterhouse, a 4-year-old brown and white bulldog from Des Moines, beat out 49 other dogs from eight states to claim the title.
The judges weren’t looking for the prettiest mutt in the mix. No, they wanted to see drool, bloodshot eyes and bowed legs – and costumes don’t hurt either. Owners slapped tutus, blonde wigs, goggles and all kinds of wacky hats on their precious pups.
“They’re not looking for pedigree,” Dolph Pulliam, the master of ceremonies for the event, said of the judging. “You use your own imagination.”
Porterhouse’s owner, Erin Bell, said her dog is a sweet, friendly guy who always makes people laugh. She and her husband, Kevin Bell, had a feeling Monday morning that, after three years of coming so close, Porterhouse would finally break through this time.
“He’s handsome – we think anyway,” Bell said.
I agree Porterhouse is handsome, almost as handsome as a Filet Mignon.
Photo courtesy of (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)