Eggselents in Production Methods

BadToTheBone-FunnyHenI had bad cramps yesterday morning. It wasn’t until late in the afternoon that they finally passed.

Well, to be honest, it wasn’t until late afternoon until I took the biggest dump this side of the Mississippi for a dog my size. I think it was the cheese. It bound me up but good.

Or maybe it was the steak I had, from the garbage pail.

Regardless, the Guinness Book of World Records is coming over later today to verify my spot in history. I just hope my mother doesn’t pick it up before they get here. Maybe I should hide her shovel.

Let me just say, it was quite the effort to get a 7 lb poo past my gatekeeper. So, when I read the following story, I knew I had to highlight this hen’s great efforts.

The astonishing specimen easily beats the previous record holder, which measured a paltry 8.6 inches diameter. Hen’s eggs are typically 5.5 inches in diameter and 2.3 inches long.

64-year-old owner Tony Barbouti told the Daily Mail ‘My hens have laid big eggs before but when I saw this one I was gobsmacked.

‘Harriet is only a young hen, she’s about six months old, and has only just started laying eggs.

‘She was limping a bit but she was all right. I’m really proud of her. She doesn’t seem to have been putting off laying as she’s still producing eggs.’

Barbouti, a taxi driver from Eastwood, Essex, keeps Harriet along with 16 other hens in a coop in his garden.

He added: ‘They are not special hens. I feed them ordinary hen food and they give me a good supply of fresh eggs. But I think we may need bigger egg cups if they keep this up.’

On a side note, I like my humongous eggs scrambled, hard. Not any of that runny stuff, like my mother’s nose.


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