When Pigs Fly
July 20 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
Not because I look up to many dogs, cats or humans, but because of being looked up to. Yeah, that’s right, there are other living creatures who look up to the old Bo dog.
Granted, I’m a big dog in a little park, but even so, every yard break is now met with adoring looks (and quiet applause) from every chipmunk and possum especially when my escapades bring me to other neighborhoods.
Lest you think it’s because I’m a famous author, it’s not. No, my forest dwelling friends can’t even read, let alone afford the paltry 15 beans it takes to get my life story into their hands.
No, it’s really because of the way I smell.
You see, my mother’s been washing me with this oatmeal smelling shampoo that, for whatever reason, the local vermin just love. So much so that they don’t even wait for the yard break anymore and just invade the yard I live in. It’s so frequent now, I don’t even chase them anymore. I’d rather just sit back and lick myself. What can I say, I like oatmeal.
Frankly, I don’t even know where I’m going with this story so I’m just going to end it here with a story of one of my heroes…Porky Pig. The UPI has the squirrly tail.
GURNEE, Ill., July 14 (UPI) — Police in suburban Chicago say two Six Flags Great America employees visiting the park on their day off allegedly assaulted … Porky Pig.
Gurnee police said Dmytro Petrychenko, 19, and Taras Sikalchuk, 20, allegedly hit the 24-year-old woman dressed as the “Looney Tunes” character in the back and front of her head 10 to 15 times after posing for a picture with her, Chicago’s WMAQ-TV reported Wednesday.
Police said both men, who are from Waukegan, were removed from the park and issued battery citations, the Arlington Heights (Ill.) Daily Herald reported Wednesday.
The woman was taken to a first aid station, where she was treated for head and neck pains and released.
Later, the woman was a put on a spit and eaten by the amusement park attendees.
Is that ending a little grim? Eh, that’s all I got folks.