Doggie Ice Cream Van
July 21 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
There’s an accusation from my father that his wife, my dear mother, is poisoning him.
Sadly, I agree. How else to explain his shift in attitude from watching Animal Planet every night to watching Dateline, 20/20, or 16 and Pregnant? She’s poisoned him alright, and it’s gone straight to his brain.
But that’s not the kind of poisoning he was alluding to. No, he’s complaining about being compromised by the food she feeds him.
The latest instance revolves around the pine nuts she hid in his salad. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but when they’re imported from China, you have to start asking if it’s intentional. After eating them, everything he’s eaten has tasted bitter…and it’s been a week!
Pepperoni Pizza? Bitter.
Key lime pie? Bitter.
His outlook on life? Bitter.
With results like that, I don’t want to take any chances of being fed by mother anymore. My only hope is for a food service like the one in the story below to make it to my neck of the woods.
The van will be serving an ice cream created exclusively for dogs – named, naturally, the K99.
It’s makers say that the dog ice cream contains ‘gammon and chicken ice cream, a traditional wafer cone and the ultimate finishing touch – a crunchy canine biscuit bone.’ Mmmm, gammon and chicken ice cream.
This mixture is supposedly the right combination of temperature, texture and taste to suit dogs, although we’re not sure exactly how this has been established.
The dog ice-cream van is scheduled to tour the UK’s parks throughout the summer, starting with the Boomerang Pets Party in Regent’s Park on July 24th (which is a party for people and pets, apparently).
I’ll take mine without the pine nut sprinkles.