Mental Issues Plague Stuffed Toys

September 8 | 6 Comments

Funny Dog BlogListen, I’ve got enough problems of my own without having to deal with the issues of other inhabitants of this lonely planet. Inhabitants like people, pets, and stuffed animals.

Yeah, stuffed animals.

Take, for instance, a ridiculous stuffed bear my brother Goliath plays with every morning. The poor bear is drenched in drool, thrown about the house, and makes a mooing sound.

Mooing as in a cow. What’s wrong with this bear, is he species confused or did he come from the land of misfit toys?

All I know is I’m looking for sleep and all I hear is this bear, er cow. When I doze back into a slumber, I dream of chasing old Elsie in the green pastures of my youth, ready to devour its flank, or ribs, or even tongue.

I get all excited, and for what? A dry bowl of kibble, that’s what. What a let down…each and every morning.

But, back to the bear. Why does it sound like a bovine? Did the Designer of all things misplace his bear-growl sound maker and go with the cheap cow alternative? Or did the Speak and Say toy I had as a pup, teach me the wrong sounds of farmyard animals everywhere?

Who knows, but all I do know is Goliath’s bear isn’t the only stuffed animal with issues. Check these poor German toys out.

The toys range from Dub, a turtle who suffers depression, to Kroko, a crocodile with an acute phobia of water, as well as an hallucinating snake called Sly and a sheep called Dolly who has a personality disorder.

The toys are made by 36-year-old Martin Kittsteiner, of Hamburg, who says: ‘It started as a bit of a joke with my girlfriend, who has lots of soft toys, and then we thought there could be something in the idea.’

He added: ‘Children and grown ups like their vulnerability and find something in them that gives them a great sense of comfort in helping to heal them.’

‘I think some adults see it as a form of therapy for themselves.’

The cuddly toys are sold from the website – styling itself the Psychiatric Institute for Abused Cuddly Toys – where customers can also play an online game as a doctor trying to diagnose the toys’ problems.


6 Responses to “Mental Issues Plague Stuffed Toys”

  1. Checkers on September 9th, 2010 7:32 am

    A bear that moo’s?!  I would have opted for the ever-popular squeaky sound over a moo!

  2. Bo on September 10th, 2010 12:04 pm

    I hear ya Checkers. I generally opt for squeaky toys with the squeaker already ripped out.

  3. The Puglet on September 19th, 2010 11:18 pm

    Ha! Awesome. My stuffed things come unstuffed all the time. Maybe if they had therapy they would last longer?

  4. pet beds on October 5th, 2010 11:24 am

    How about an agoraphobic turtle who never comes out of his shell? Or an obsessive-compulsive raccoon, who washes his food… and washes his food… and washes his food… I got a million of ‘em, folks. Herr Kittsteiner – give me a call!
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  5. CK on April 26th, 2011 8:38 pm

    Hello, this blog still alive?

  6. naganpets on June 2nd, 2011 12:50 pm

    It is better to have a pet than the stuff u can play with them,u cannot thrown away outside if u don’t is awesome!

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