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Flamingos, Children Fooled by Fake Eggs

I know I should save this diatribe until Easter rolls around, but today’s news story makes it a relevant discussion.

Am I the only one that has a problem with the crime perpetrated on children every year around Easter? We are lead to believe, and I use WE because I was once one of the fooled, one of two things; either rabbits lay eggs or they are thieves.

One isn’t possible while the other quite probable, especially after listening to my friend, The San Diego Chicken.

But it doesn’t stop there. Unlike olden times, the eggs kids are forced to search for these days aren’t real eggs at all. They’re plastic, usually filled with crap candy. That ain’t right.

Oh, I have no problem with the plastic part, but shouldn’t it be filled with chicken, roast beef or squirrel meat? If not, give me the real thing. At least then I can egg a house.

So imagine my surprise when I read about a few flamingos at the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium dealing with the same issues. It appears, fooling the young and old knows no bounds.

The eggs balancing on volcano like mounds at the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium’s flamingo yard most likely are fake.

But the fuzzy little flamingo chicks on display beginning today are as real as they come. Less than a week old, the three birds have zookeepers abuzz.

“We’re very excited about it,” Carrie Pratt, assistant curator of the Shores Region at the zoo, said yesterday. “We want to get them out as quickly as we can to exercise and keep their legs strong.”

The zoo had no luck producing flamingo chicks until 2002. That year, the first one hatched. Two more hatched in 2007, one in 2008 and three in 2010.

During those nine years, zookeepers learned that the best way to ensure hatching is to remove eggs after they are laid and put them in an incubator. Once the egg is gone, the mother might lay another, which zookeepers also remove.

They replace that egg with an artificial one so the mothers don’t continue to lay, Pratt said.

“It can be taxing to continue to lay eggs,” she said.

The fakes look real, but they’re made of wood or plaster by zoo workers.

That’s right, those eggs are as fake as Pamela Anderson’s rack.

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