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Cats Are Cheaters

Cheater!I read the headline, stunned at its implications.

“Cat gets GED”

What’s the world coming to, I thought.

As canines we’re forced to go through the humiliation of continuing education classes.

First there’s the good canine citizen certification and basic obedience followed by intermediate and advanced classes. Then there’s the agility training and the service dog ‘electives’ to round out a pup’s credentials.

All these requirements just to be a working class dog.

Now I find out that felines have figured out a shortcut by going online, cheating on exams and getting their GED.

All this presumably so they can go out into the world and take jobs away from properly educated canines.

It reminds of why they call a cat scan a, uhm, cat scan. Because it’s a device used to look for something bad.

The Digital Journal has the details on this higher learning travesty.

Most cat lovers believe that their cats are smart, but how many would suspect that their pets could graduate from high school?

According to news sources, a Better Business Bureau scheme to expose Internet diploma mills has revealed that a two-year-old tuxedo cat named Oreo has received a diploma from Jefferson High School Online following a test and a $200 fee paid for by her owner, Kelvin Collins. It is suspected that she is the first in her family to graduate from school but that is a moot point as she wrote in her “life experience essay’ that she had been adopted.

In Collins own words: “Oreo’s a really smart cat… I am tickled pink to give her an opportunity to get an education.”

In the spirit of full disclosure, it must be said that while Oreo garnered mostly A’s on the online test, Collins did help Oreo with both the answers and the essay. But to be completely fair, Oreo stayed in his lap throughout the test, and Collins got a little help, too.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Oreo remains qualified but unemployed.

We deal with puppy mills. Cats deal with diploma mills.

Where’s the justice?

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