Bronson Tougher Than Charles
January 19, 2010 | 1 Comment
OK, I admit it. I’m scared of snakes.
That’s right, your fuzzy hero has a fear of the slinky kind. Maybe it’s because I remember the day, when I was a mere pup, when a snake crawled into our den to vie for my mother’s nipple. When I attempted to push it away, it bit me. Needless to say I thrashed it to death. However, the mark on my psyche lives on to this day.
Some may think I made that story up and the real reason I’m afraid of snakes is because I’m a girlie dog. Well you can’t prove it can you.
Anyway, I, a macho dog, still run in the opposite direction of any snake that crosses my path due to this puphood incident. Not only is this a good idea, it should be a law. Read more
Appetite for Destruction-20 Odd Items Eaten by Pets
December 4, 2009 | 2 Comments
I love hot dogs, hamburgers and anything covered in peanut butter. Well, almost anything covered in peanut butter.
I wouldn’t, for example, eat a wig covered in the creamy stuff, if only because it would take forever to get the hair out of my mouth. I also wouldn’t chow down on a tent peg or a fishing hook. But that’s just me.
Apparently, some of my compatriots have different tastes. Just take a look at this list compiled by PDSA PetAid hospitals.
Culling Poop in Taipei
October 14, 2009 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
When owners tell their pups to “jump”, most dogs will ask how high?
When I hear that phrase, I ask why? I mean, why risk a hip fracture? Why risk a twisted paw? Why risk leaving mother earth for even a split second?
When I bark “jump”, my owners know it’s time for them to jump off the couch and let me out, or in, depending on the circumstances. It’s to the point where I just move my jowls without making a peep. In the flash of eye, they drool and spring to life to open the door.
Pit Bull Burglarizes Home
October 12, 2009 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
Let’s face it folks, we’re all criminals.
In this day and age where everything from rabies shots to dog park access to where you can poop is legislated by unscrupulous humans it’s hard not to fall on the wrong side of the law at least a few times.
For instance, yesterday I was caught waddling along at 1 mph in the left lane of our local walking park. Regulations say this lane is reserved for those cruising by at least twice that pace.
Sure I was breaking the law but shouldn’t there be one for the inappropriateness of others barking, “Move over Q-tip” at you?
Dog Mistakes Gas Pedal for Brake
September 23, 2009 | 1 Comment
All who know me say that I’m a driven dog. I give it to you straight on this blog so yeah, these folks are right to say that about me.
I’m driven…everywhere.
In the summer my rides usually only get me to the park, but during fall and spring my destinations are diversified to include Home Depot, Publix and Rover’s House of Pancakes.
Regardless of season I’m always driven to the vet’s. What, you don’t expect me to walk there do you?
The only problem with this arrangement is that I don’t get to go on my schedule. It is dictated by my control freak parents.
Pit Bull Flattens Deputy’s Tires
September 4, 2009 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
Who says pit bulls don’t have a sense of humor?
It’s a little known fact, but they love to play pranks, tell jokes and just be the center of comedic attention.
My sister Copper, who everyone thought was a Rhodesian Ridgeback, actually has a bit of pit bull flowing through her veins. Anyone that knows her will tell you she’s got a great sense of humor. Her favorite topic…farts.
She loves to bring up the subject every chance she gets. First thing in the morning after a poop and a shave…fart. Mid-day at lunch just before her walk…fart. Early afternoons when my father is on conference calls…fart. At the dinner table…fart. I think you get the idea.
Dog Busted Out of Canine Jail
July 28, 2009 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
How far would your owners go to save your fur?
Would they give up some of their hard earned cash? How about the time needed to nurse you back to health after a serious illness? Would they commit a crime if it meant keeping you in their lives?
I know my parents’ answers: yes, yes, no.
What can I say, they’re law abiding citizens. That means the purchase of medical marijuana for my glaucoma from Chachi down at the street corner is out, but they wouldn’t hesitate flying me to San Francisco to drop me off at a cannabis club. They’re strange folks, but who am I to judge.
Dog Sent to Jail for Eating Money
July 15, 2009 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
You ever get the munchies so bad that you’ll eat anything?
When this happens to me I usually head straight for the kitchen garbage can and turn it over. I’m so good at it I’ve been offered work on a Waste Management garbage truck.
Once I’ve turned the can, and my frown, upside down I pick through the goodies that my folks have tossed aside. Mmm…yogurt cups, chicken skin, spaghetti sauce, head cheese, cow tongue…it’s all there for the taking.
Dog Days of Summer Baseball
June 8, 2009 | 3 Comments
For the record let me state that I’m a baseball fan.
My favorite team is the New York Mets and before any haters are sic’d on me, I’ll have you know I started liking them when they sucked. Coincidentally, it is also the time that I learned a lot of swear words from my father who sat by my side watching game after game after game.
Things aren’t much better these days with two successive September folds. If losing builds character, then I feel like Rin Tin Tin right about now.
But, hey at least I still have my day job. You know as snuggler, lover and all around best friend to my bipeds.
Dog Bowl Provides Home with Warm Glow
May 19, 2009 | 3 Comments
They say all reporters have biases as they go out into the world and report on the goings on.
Some are able to recognize them and adjust for them accordingly. Others are less reflective and let their full biases into their finished product. These folks are usually called hacks.
I mention this because I suspect there may be a hidden agenda to a report I read this morning regarding a fire in Seattle. The Seattle Times has all the details.
