A Little Help From My Friends

I like exercise as much as the next dog, if not more.

OK, that’s a lie. At this stage of my canine career, I don’t like it much. That’s what happens when your bones creak like a listing boat in the middle of the sea, or in an oil soaked gulf (thanks BP).

That’s why the last thing I want to be doing these days is to go on a long walk in the woods.

What’s the point? If I see something worth chasing, I’m on a leash and can’t get to it anyway. I’m done training to look like a bully whippet, so the aerobic exercise is worthless to me now.

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No Gay Dogs Allowed

I never questioned my sexually, probably because my berries were removed at a very young age. My lack of interest on the subject was replaced with a hearty quest for knowledge of molecular physics.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss them.  Here’s a postcard I recently sent my former friends:

“Dear Balls,

Wish you were here.

-Bo”

I hope they’re doing well, wherever they may be.

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My Little Pony – George the Dog

My old man is a big dog kind of guy, if by big you mean anything larger than 60 pounds.

I think it’s because he likes a full helping of poo to pick up rather than little rabbit turds while on our family walks. Copper, Kensy, Patience and I are more than happy to comply. Hey, it’s what we do.

Then I read today’s story about Giant George and suddenly I’m worried.  Let’s face it, GG puts out the same amount of poo we do, but it only needs to be cleaned up once. If my old man is one thing, it’s lazy. But come to think of it, if this were the only thing my father was worried about, he would have gotten himself an elephant years ago.

Anyway, here’s George and his story from the Daily Mail. Read more

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Toilets for the Canine Set

I always hear my parents telling prospective pet owners how wonderful we faithful creatures are.

Clearly there’s a bit of an up-sell there, and something I’m quite appreciative of, when they look to match a homeless animal to a needy human. But is it really necessary?

All studies I’ve read have shown absolutely, positively no downside to the relationship…from a human’s standpoint. For the pet, there’s quite a few negatives but we’re willing to let it slide for some free kibble. Hey, it’s what makes us more adorable than we already are.

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Dead On Arrival

Given the state of the world…this story sounds about right. Read more

Scooby Takes Stand In Murder Trial

Scooby Doo. I remember him as a happy go lucky Great Dane who hung out with his loser owner Shaggy. I don’t doubt the two shared in some illicit drug use leading them to see ghosts and apparitions.

But those were the days of Scooby’s youth. It turns out that at some point he was given to a French lady where they shared an apartment in the city of love, Paris. Sadly, their relationship ended tragically.

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Dogs, Men Use Same Tricks to Get the Ladies

The following study surprises me.

It states that men, human men, follow the same rules of engagement as male dogs when it comes to wooing the opposite sex. Really? I have to say, my father is clueless, and he managed to get a girl. Granted, it’s my mother, but still she’s a chick.

I bet he never even sniffed her crotch before asking her out for a Happy Meal at Mickey Dee’s. What a blockhead.

Me? I get whatever I want out of women, be they pretty or dogs. But that’s because I know what I’m doing.

Here’s the story about the study from The Times of India.

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Bo Obama Needs to Change His Name

I need to get something off my chest that’s been bothering me the past several months. To some it may sound immature and petty, but to me it’s taken the joy out of my afternoon naps.

What is the deal with President Obama naming his dog after me? Why my name? It ain’t cool Mr. President.

Let me set the record straight so everybody understands, there’s only room for three Bo’s in this world; Bo Diddley, Bo Jackson and Bo Hoefinger. That’s  it. No others need apply.

If you want to be a Bo, you can’t be. Membership is closed. Oh sure, you can be a Beau or a  Bow, but you can’t be a Bo.

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Mary Wanna Gets Dog High

I don’t do drugs. Recreational drugs that is.

I do partake in peanut butter covered pills legally prescribed by humans who’ve spent way too much time in school and not enough time at the dog park. Yeah, I’m talking about vets.

I’ve downed my fair share of rimadyl, cosequin, glucosamine chondroiton, prednosone,  thyroid medication and antibiotics.

And of course there was the incident where I was given a human narcotic by mistake. That adventure I saved for inclusion in my memoir, if only as a cautionary tale to all dogs.

The intent of these pharmaceutical buying binges has been to make me feel better. My parents could have saved their money and just given me an Ice Pup instead. Trust me, those things will make any dog feel great!

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Egg Hunting Dogs

Easter makes me think, how do bunny rabbits get all those eggs they distribute?

Do they pay the chickens for them? Do they steal them? Or do they have a huge bunny production facility that creates them? If created, will the factory have to purchase carbon credit offsets next year? And what will that do for the number of eggs produced?

They’re legitimate questions, but I suppose many of you are probably thinking, “Bo, why can’t you just focus on the fun side for a change. Can’t you just enjoy Easter for the celebration it is?”

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