Dogman Caught!

Crime, I don’t condone it, but sometimes you do feel sorry for the perp. Take for instance this story of an animal lover looking to provide for his pets.

TOKYO (AFP) - A Japanese animal-lover on welfare went to extremes to provide for his many pets by robbing convenience stores while wearing the mask of a dog, police said Monday.

Takaharu Kawata — branded by Japanese media as “The Dogman” — was caught on a surveillance camera wearing an oversized black-and-white canine mask while brandishing a knife.

OK…I feel I need to step in here. Please take a look at the picture accompanying this article.  Does that look like a dog to you? Are we that ugly? I didn’t think so. That looks more like a cross between a scary Easter Bunny, Wilford Brimley and a cat.

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What You Gonna Do When They Come For You?

You hear a lot about animal control but wouldn’t this world be a better place if we had human control officers?  Anyway, the animal control freaks are at it again in Erie, Pa.

Dog owners in Erie County and the city of Erie have until May 14 before city animal control officers and state dog wardens canvas neighborhoods looking for unlicensed dogs. The enforcement effort will target the entire county and city.

Any German Shepherd will tell you this is how it all started in Nazi Germany. Read more

When Funny Faces Aren’t Funny

You ever notice the annoying voices that owners use to speak to us? I can live with that but here’s a trend I’m happy they stopped dead in its tracks.

Jayna Hutchinson, a 33-year-old Vermont woman, was charged with cruelty to animals and resisting arrest after a police officer caught her staring at his dog in a “taunting/harassing manner.”

Dogs on the scene have reported to me she was taunting the canine with calls of “Nanana Boo Boo”. Read more

Elementary, My Dear Rover

I’ve heard of bomb sniffing dogs, cadaver dogs, and even hot dogs, but I’ve never heard of pub sniffer dogs. Where else but in Scotland would you find this rare canine breed?

A police operation has started in south west Scotland to send sniffer dogs into pubs to search for drugs. A total of 13 bars were visited by patrols in the Stranraer area as part of the initiative.

Going undercover requires the dog to assume the identity of the typical pub goer. Once it procures the confidence of the locals, it is free to search for drugs while the targets go to the wee. This appears to be a well thought out strategy and will, no doubt become a very effective tool in fighting drug crime. Read more

Pretty In Pink

What do these things have in common? Pinky Tuscedaro, the smallest appendage on your hand, and the woman that wants to get the party started. They all love pink…and so does the owner of Cici…but at least it’s for a good reason.

A Boulder salon owner is facing a $1,000 fine for dyeing her miniature poodle pink — and the woman said she plans to fight back.

Cici is a “breast-cancer awareness dog” who’s been showing off her pink coat for three years at Zing Salon , 1100 Spruce St., said Joy Douglas, who owns both the salon and the poodle.

“Cici is being stripped of her civic duty,” said Douglas, who is scheduled to face a judge in Boulder Municipal Court this morning in response to a March 1 citation. “And I don’t plan to take it sitting down.”

Apparently she doesn’t understand the city’s ’sit’ command.

Officials at the Humane Society of Boulder Valley said Douglas was warned several times before an animal-control officer issued her the ticket for violating Section 6-1-14 ofBoulder’s city code, titled “Dyeing fowl and rabbits prohibited.”

I guess they only want healthy fowl…and if truth be told there are plenty of reasons rabbits are prohibited.

Douglas said she didn’t break that law, because she uses beet juice — and occasionally Kool-Aid — to “stain” Cici’s coat. She said she never has used chemicals, and her pooch never has had a reaction to the stain.

Dwight Schrute , co-owner of Schrute’s Beet Farm backs Ms. Douglas in this case, “Mose and I appreciate the business Zing Salon gives us. Our beets are harmless, as long as they are prepared in the correct way. The natural enemies of the beet are the cutworm and the aphid. They are horrible. They eat and infest beets. They are of Satan. Also of Satan are the people attacking poor Ms. Douglas.”

Boulder’s animal control officials said the regulation originally was passed to keep people from dyeing chicks and bunnies around Easter.
Despite Douglas’ assertions that she doesn’t use chemicals, [Lisa] Pedersen said officers must enforce the no-dye rule.”Regardless of what she used on the dog, the ordinance is in place and we are commissioned by the city to enforce those ordinances,” Pedersen said. “We are just doing our job.”

You know Ms. Pedersen, the german shepherds at Auschwitz were also just doing their job.

Three years ago, Douglas said, she bought Cici off an animal-adoption Web site frequented by celebrities. Cici was pegged for the purpose of promoting breast-cancer research.

I’m more of a leg dog than a breast one, but I still wish Douglas and Cici the best of luck.

Ich Bin Ein Berliner

I live in a glass house. Well, a house that has glass floors. Ok, they’re hardwood floors, but they might as well be glass. As an ‘experienced’ canine, these floors are akin to asking a 90 year old woman to walk down a stoop of stairs after an ice-storm. To help me, my parents got me boots to wear so my feet would grip the surface a bit better. I think they’re crazy, and it appears, so is the Berlin police department.

BERLIN - Police dogs in the western city of Duesseldorf will no longer get their feet dirty when on patrol - the entire dog unit will soon be equipped with blue plastic fiber shoes, a police spokesman said Monday.

“All 20 of our police dogs - German and Belgian shepherds - are currently being trained to walk in these shoes,” Andre Hartwich said. “I’m not sure they like it, but they’ll have to get used to it.”

He’s right, it does take getting used to. For instance, now when I walk in my own pee, I don’t even feel it.

The unusual footwear is not a fashion statement, Hartwich said, but rather a necessity due to the high rate of paw injuries on duty. Especially in the city’s historical old town - famous for both its pubs and drunken revelers - the dogs often step into broken beer bottles.

They’re not a fashion statement yet since Nike and Reebok haven’t gotten involved. When they do, rest assured, puppies being mugged for their footwear will be all the rage. Until that time comes my unfortunate canine brothers will look like they’re wearing orthopedic shoes…or worse…lifts.

Signs Of The Time

I guess the only reason a story like this makes it into the paper is to further the case against the dangers of pit bulls. That’s my take anyway. You can judge for yourself.

Brandon Sheffield has one loyal dog.

The 24-year-old was speeding along North Lagoon Drive early Saturday morning, according to the Bay County Sheriff’s Office.

Deputy M. Clayton clocked Sheffield at 65 mph in the 35 mph zone and attempted a traffic stop. Clayton said Sheffield accelerated and “attempted to make an evasive turn,” but instead lost control, hit a curve and stopped.

Sheffield, Clayton said, stepped from the vehicle.

The small yellow, diamond shaped car sign says, “Idiot On Board” Read more

Stepping In It

Crime fighters. Deep down inside that’s what we all want to be. Super Hero Crime Fighters actually. Here’s a little story of a canine with super hero poo.

Josue Herrios-Coronilla, 18, drove his black Camaro on the wrong side of the road Wednesday and crashed into the yard of man who owns four dogs, police said.

Police found crushed bushes, a damaged fence, an inoperable car — and a fresh shoe print in a pile of dog feces.

Following an odoriferous trail down the street, Sgt. Dale Gunter noticed a white van driving toward him. When he asked the passenger to step out, he noticed the smell of alcohol on the man’s breath and evidence all over his shoes.

Herrios-Coronilla was charged with driving while impaired and drinking underage and released on $1,500 bail. He could not immediately be reached for comment.

They don’t tell us which of the 4 dogs’ poop it was that attached itself to the felon’s shoes, but it’s safe to say that if you follow all four dogs around, our superhero is the one that squeezes out the extra soft and sticky stuff. He’s the one his buddies call ‘Taffy Ass’.

I love kitty taffy.

Aldo Nova

I’ve heard of kidnapping humans in Colombia but didn’t realize it had progressed to the canine set.

BOGOTA (Reuters) - A kidnapped Colombian dog held for $350,000 (170,600 pound) ransom was recovered on Friday after his abductors dropped him off at a veterinarian’s office, saying he needed a bath.

Think about how badly this dog [Aldo de Fescal] must have smelled to force the abductors to drop him off at the vets. Yeah, pretty stinky!

If I were an advisor of the kidnappers, which I am not, I would recommend sprinkling a little Optima 365 on the captive’s food to keep the dog’s coat fresh and non-stinky. This product gets a big paws up from my sister Copper. It is highly effective on body odor. On her farting? Not so much.

To me it’s surprising Aldo even needed a bath. I mean, if you’re being held for $350,000 ransom, I’m thinking your poop doesn’t even stink.

Abe Vigoda Is Alive

McGruff the Crime Dog is still at it. Looking at the picture, I have to say that he’s a lot bigger than I remember him.

Although McGruff the Crime Dog has been helping people fight crime in their communities for more than 20 years, he recently joined forces with the Milpitas Police Department.

Over 20 years doing this, huh? He’s the canine version of Abe Vigoda’s character Fish in Barney Miller. How many crooks do you think a 140+ year old dog is going to capture? If you guessed none, give yourself a milkbone.

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