March 4 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
February 9 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
It is gorgeous here today which means I get to go to for a ride over to the park. Like Doublemint gum, ‘Double your pleasure, double your fun’. What’s really fun is riding shotgun but when you’re competing with your family members for this coveted position there are rules to follow. Here’s a cheat sheet to help out.
1. You must ‘bark’ shotgun to stake your claim.
2. It must be barked outside, not when you hear ‘Wanna go for a ride?”
3. Barking shotgun must be within sight of the dogmobile. If it is too hard to tell which dog barked it first you can always settle it with a game of treat, paper, paws. Although having unopposable thumbs does make this method a little hard.
4. As an added bonus the winner also gets control of the a/c.
5. Trying to squeeze a paw between the seats does not get you the coveted position.
Good luck and most of all have fun. Woof! -Kensy, The Dog
May 8 | 1 Comment
In honor of moms with four-legged ‘kids,’ Happy Mother’s Day! Just because you’re a dog doesn’t mean you don’t want to join in the Mother’s Day celebration. Especially if she’s the one that saved you from a death sentence.
So, all you pups, grab a pen and paper and make out your top 10 list.
Here is my list of the top 10 reasons I love my mother.
February 18 | 1 Comment
October 22 | 1 Comment
You know how sometimes when you see a something, you just have to have it? Like the first time you saw a peanut butter filled kong.
Well I just came across something that I deem a must have item, if not for me, then for my parents. It’s a new design in kitty carriers called Tabby Tote.
June 25 | 5 Comments
My mother likes a clean house, especially the bathroom areas. Here’s how I keep my mother happy by cleaning our toilets, of course following the below guide by a wise dog.
Instructions for cleaning the toilet:
1. Lift the lid on the toilet and fill it with 1/8 cup of animal shampoo.
2. Take the cat in your arms and stroke it gently while slowly moving in the direction of the toilet.
3. At a suitable moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and close the lid quickly and either stand or sit on the lid.
4. The cat will now start the cleaning process and will generate plenty of foam. Do not be concerned about the loud noises coming from the toilet; your cat is enjoying himself.
5. After several minutes flush the toilet to start the “Power-wash” pre-wash and then flush again for the main wash cycle.
6. Ask someone to open the front door and ensure that no-one is between the toilet and the front door.
7. Get off the toilet seat and from a safe distance open the toilet lid quickly. The cat will dry off naturally due to the high speed he will be moving from the toilet to the front door.
8. The toilet and the cat are now both clean.
With best wishes,
June 24 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
So my old man took a quiz to find out what kind of dog he’d be based upon his personal traits. I could have told him slug, but apparently that’s not a type of canine. Anyway the results are shown below.
If you want your owner to see what they would be, click on this link. Then click on the Doberman in the picture or on the word GAME on the left side of the screen.
Why can’t humans just be happy with themselves?
June 23 | 32 Comments
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY
Day number 182
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm – ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture…Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair…must try this On their bed.
DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was… Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still LODGED between my teeth.
DAY 771 – There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event, however, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call “beer.” More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 – I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my activities. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…
March 12 | 1 Comment
So I had to go the vet the other day for an embarrassing situation. Here’s exactly what happened…
“So what’s the problem, Bo?” the vet asked.
“I’ve been farting a lot. I mean I fart all the time,” I tell her.
She just nods, encouraging me to talk some more.
So I continue, “Luckily, my farts don’t stink and you can’t hear them. It’s just that I can’t stop it. Look, we’ve been talking here for about 10 minutes and I’ve farted five times. You didn’t hear them and you didn’t smell them, did you?”
She just says, “Hmmm,” and then picks up her pad and writes out a prescription.
What a relief, someone that can help me with my problem!
So I say, “Thanks doc. This prescription, it’s going to clear up my farts, right?”
“Well, no,” she said, “the prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test.”
March 8 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet
Here’s a quick joke for you all…
Mahtin goes to pick up his date for the evening. She’s not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to relieve some pressure.
Luckily, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, “Shep, get down from there.”
The guy thinks, “Great, they think the dog did it.” He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, “Dammit Shep, get down before he poops on you.”