Missing A Pig? Check the Local Shelter

OK, which one of you lost a pig last weekend? It shouldn’t be hard to remember, the pig weighs 500 lbs and hogs most of the bed it shares with you.

The Charleston Animal Society wants to reunite with its owner a stray pig found in Adams Run or find him a new home.

The adolescent male, which is tan with black spots, had been seen wandering around the area for about a week, said Kay Hyman, society director of outreach and communications.

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Pentagon Prepares for Cat Fight

We’re in the middle of the 2008 presidential race and we’re all having to listen to how both candidates will clean up Washington, making this country a lean, mean economic and social justice machine. Blah, blah, blah…

I say blah, blah, blah because I need proof that things are going to change. I challenge the candidates to convince me via actions, not worthless words. A good place to start is by putting an end to this experiment.

The Pentagon’s crash program to create an artificial brain is just about up and running. And, if it all goes as planned, we could see an electronic chip that mimics the “function, size, and power consumption” of a cat’s cortex some time in the next decade.

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Manatee Loose Near Big Apple

We haven’t seen this much hysteria over fish in NY since the movie Splash came out. I’m sure I’m not the only dog that  thought Darryl Hannah looked scrumptious in that flick. In fact, my mouth waters just thinking about dabbing that fish tail in some savory sauce and downing it with a bowl of sea water. Anyway, enough about me, here’s what’s happening on the island that is long.

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Commisioner and Horse Suck Face in Public

I have to be honest with you.  When I saw the picture on the left I immediately thought, “What an ass!” No, I wasn’t talking about the horse, but rather the commissioner.

With millions of dogs out there, purportedly man’s best friend, this guy decides to give his love and affection to an upgraded model of a burrow? There has to be more to it, and it turns out there was.

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Monkey Wants to Work 9 to 5

I’m not a working dog. Never have been and never will be. But I do sympathize with those who have to trudge to work on a daily basis. You know, like those sheepdogs who punch a clock every day…just to watch those darn sheep and keeping that wiley coyote from stealing them. My heart goes out to Sam and Ralph.

So when I saw this story about a monkey using the Tokyo commuter trains, my heart went out to him too. Let’s face it, a country monkey trying to make it in the big city is sad on many levels; an indictment on society today.

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Turtles Dine at Vinnies

Never let it be said that Mother Nature doesn’t have a plan. The instincts she imparts upon all the creatures of the world are flawless, geared to the survival of creatures great and small.

It’s like the instinct I have for patience. I can out stare and out wait my parents until I get what I want.  Why, just this morning I managed to get some newly fried up bacon put into my kibble, just by refusing to eat what was initially presented to me. By the way, it was turkey bacon. If somebody could tell me what’s wrong with my parents, I’d appreciate it.

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Homeowners Raise Own Cattle for Food

Them British sure do some odd things. Take for example them using the word boot to describe the trunk of a car. A boot is what my parents put on my foot to keep me from sliding across the hardwood floors. Frankly, a boot sucks…whether you’re wearing one or in one.

But that’s not the point of this story…it’s about British families raising miniature cattle to save money.

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Mice on a Plane

I don’t mind telling you that I don’t like to fly. I think that if God had wanted dogs to fly, he would have given us a lifetime supply of first class upgrade vouchers. Last time I checked there wasn’t a voucher to be found in any one of my paws.

Well, it turns out mice have a different viewpoint. Take a gander at this article.

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Polar Bear Explodes In Pool

Yesterday I had a Winnie the Pooh story, today I follow it up with a Winne the Pooher.

Here’s a little video, not for the faint of heart crowd, of a polar bear taking a dump in the water he swims in. It’s a bit disturbing, and akin to me taking a dump in bed. Normal protocal prohibits it, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

I will say, great camera work on this one. It should win an Oscar for cinematography.

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Winnie The Pooh Robs Tourist

These are troubling times. No, not for me but for child actors and cartoon characters the world over.

The latest episode has Winnie the Pooh robbing some tourists in Tokyo. No doubt it’s probably to feed his methamphetamine habit. You can read all about it here.

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