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Bloodhound of a Different Kind

funny dog blog, dog blog, bad to the bone, funny dog bookBloodhound.

When I first heard the term I didn’t know what to think. On the one paw it sounds really good. I mean what’s not to like about a bloody steak, a bloody snot rag in the garbage, or my father, a bloody fool.

On the other paw, massive amounts of blood makes me woozy. Yeah I know I’m a dog and I’m supposed to be  tough, but I gotta tell ya if  I had to hunt and kill my own food, I’d become a vegan. Blueberries rarely make a blood curdling scream.

Then there’s all the rage these days about vampires. Is bloodhound another way of saying vampire dog? It used to be when I heard Twilight, I only thought about the Zone I lived in. Nowadays Twilight is the time of day I have to look over my shoulder when I go pee pee. Speaking of which, where did I put that garlic?

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Cowabunga Dude

You'd climb a tree to get away from these cows, too!I like cows.

Especially covered in cheese, ketchup and in between two buns (hey, I’ll be here all week folks!).

Well, it turns out cows can be quite menacing. Really.

I’m not just talking about those heifers defacing local billboards, but real moo moos. The kind that hang loose in open fields chewing their cud, and the creators of tournament quality cow chips.

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Red Pandas Saved by White Dog

December 17 | 1 Comment

Their father was panda I met at a barI don’t mean to sound uppity, but dogs make everyone’s lives better.

Seriously, think about what the world would look like if canines weren’t around?

I surmise it would look like the world Mad Max thrived in; dusty, desolate and filled with savage acts of brutality. Before I get deluged with e-mails let me state that I know Max had a dog, but one that had mutated from man-made nuclear exposure. Not like the dogs you know and love today. I would like to point out that cats weren’t tough enough to make it through the apocalypse.

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Judge Gets Himself a Six Pack

October 19 | 1 Comment

Judge is the one on the rightYou ever notice how many dog heroes are out there?

There’s Lassie saving everyone in the midwest from dying in wells, and Hooch handcuffing every perp in his small city, and of course me saving my parents from a life more ordinary.

There are so many pups doing good things I could fill up the entire internet citing them all. But why tell you something you already know.

So that got me to thinking about cat heroes and whether there are any.

There’s Garfield, a dimwitted overweight cat hell bent on capturing more food, however that’s about as heroic as Sallie Struthers rolling a bum for Burger King money. Of course there’s Sylvester P. Pussycat but the only thing he ever saved was his appetite for a defenseless bird. And then you have Catwoman, but the only one I know who thinks she is a hero is the Penguin. And let’s face it, penguins aren’t the brightest bulbs in the pack (have you ever seen March of Penguins?).

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Dogs Save Heroes One at a Time

September 10 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet

This vet I love!!
I recently read a survey that most dogs don’t like vets. I was shocked to hear those results.

I mean, what’s not to like? The camouflage? The ability to relieve themselves on a battlefield? It certainly can’t be the yummy  c-rations.

Then I realized the survey was talking about veterinarians, not veterans. That made me feel better.

Well, since I’ve stumbled upon the subject, let me just send a quick thank you for all the members of the armed forces. Read more

Dog Saves Owner from Quicksand Death

August 31 | 6 Comments

Quicksand? More like slow human.Color me skeptical.

That’s my reaction to today’s story about a hero dog. I know it’s in my best interest to promote the heroes among the canine class, but I have to keep my integrity intact if I’m to continue to serve the faithful readers out there.

Let’s be honest, would there be anything worse than compromising my honor and then being compared to cats that shill for the local 9-lives club? I guess being part of the club would be worse, but that’s about it.

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War and Peace – Canine Version

August 7 | 2 Comments

Steady as she goesI have to give credit where credit is due.

I always thought I was the most prolific message leaver in all the world. No fire hydrant, tree or human leg was safe from my lemonade stream of consciousness.

Heck, the first draft of my book was written with this invisible ink. Fortunately for me, I didn’t lose anything because I had it backed up with a hefty aroma (just a friendly reminder for all of you out there to always back up your work).

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Dog Days of Summer Baseball

June 8 | 3 Comments

You have any wet wipes?For the record let me state that I’m a baseball fan.

My favorite team is the New York Mets and before any haters are sic’d on me, I’ll have you know I started liking them when they sucked. Coincidentally, it is also the time that I learned a lot of swear words from my father who sat by my side watching game after game after game.

Things aren’t much better these days with two successive September folds. If losing builds character, then I feel like Rin Tin Tin right about now.

But, hey at least I still have my day job. You know as snuggler, lover and all around best friend to my bipeds.

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Dog Stops Traffic To Save Mother

May 15 | 7 Comments

My mommy's hurt...please stopSometimes I see a heartwarming story and I just find the need to share it with the world.

A lot of you probably think that all New York City dogs are obnoxious, self absorbed and bark funny. To that all I can say is stop getting all your news from Cat Fancy magazine. NYC pups are no different than the ones in Kansas, Alabama or Hawaii. Well the ones in Hawaii are a bit happier.

Look no further than Husky, the son of a yellow lab-mix named Chile, and his heroic efforts to save his mother this morning. Read more

Dog Saves Thousands of Air Travelers From Death

May 12 | 6 Comments

Uhhmmm...You may want to land that thingIf I were to fly the friendly skies of this united world, I know what they’d call me.

Sully.

You know, as in Captain Chelsey  Sullenberger , the hero pilot that landed a jet into the Hudson River a few months ago. If you’re going to do something, do it right I say. If not, you might as well just roll over in bed, if only to keep from aggravating your bed sores.

Looks like a border collie in Oregon is one step ahead of the pack when it comes to flying. She’s got a job with the local airport. Here’s the story on why. Read more

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