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Designated Riding Horse

January 30 | 4 Comments

I’m not much of a beer fan.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll slurp up a plate full if given to me, but it’s not something I’m willing to beg for. After all, it’s just a socially accepted way of poisoning your body, isn’t it.

Who was it that said, “My body is a temple?” I forget too, but I’m sure it was a very smart dog, or an athletic one.

Anyway, I try to steer clear from products that cause errors in judgment.

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A Hunting We Will Go

December 4 | 1 Comment

Gun control. I’m all for it, especially if I’m the one controlling it.

Put guns in the wrong paws and bad things are bound to happen. Take for instance this yellow lab from Oregon. He decides to go out duck hunting with his owner before taking a gun safety course.

Or so he would have you believe.

If you ask me, that’s the type of thing you’d expect from a cat, not a lovable canine; and certainly not an intelligent one like a labarador.

That’s why I think there’s more than meets the nose here.

Read the story by Brad Schmidt from The Oregonian.

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Killer Whale Poop: A Tasty Treat for Dogs

November 22 | 1 Comment

I like poop just as much as the next dog. In fact, one of my favorite treats is my feline sister Moose’s anal extractions. I know that sounds gross, so I’ll call it for what it’s known around the house, Kitty Snickers.

After downing a bar of the chocolatie delicasy, I’m not allowed to lick my parents. Frankly, it’s not something I do often anyway. Soap residue tastes just awful.

So I read in today’s paper that there’s a dog who’s got the enviable task of searching for whale poop! In my view, that’s the equivalent of going to an all you can eat buffet.

Some guys have all the luck.

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Dog’s Love of Melon Leads to Knife Fight

TastyI love watermelon, but only the seedless variety. Nothing’s worse than getting seeds in your mouth and not knowing whether you should spit them on the carpet or into your paw, especially at a dinner party.  I also prefer it nicely sliced, not too close to the bitter rind, and cubed. After all, I’m not an uncultured rube.

I imagine the dog in the following story didn’t really care how his watermelon was served based on the actions of his family.

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Police Detonate Dachshunds to Oblivion

September 26 | Hmmm...No Comments Yet

‘A dog for the kids, fine…..but a Palestinian Shepherd!!’What is the world coming to? Really. I have to ask that question because I just came across this disturbing article about Philadelphia police blowing up a bunch of dachshunds. Their crime? Loitering near Citizens Park, where the Phillies play.

I feel the need to get the message out and urge you to do the same. Remember the dire warnings in the old saying, “First they came for the dachshunds and I said nothing, then they came for poodles and I said nothing…” you know the rest. If not, then you’ve been too busy licking yourself, which is quite understandable.

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Dogman Caught!

A Dog?Crime, I don’t condone it, but sometimes you do feel sorry for the perp. Take for instance this story of an animal lover looking to provide for his pets.

TOKYO (AFP) – A Japanese animal-lover on welfare went to extremes to provide for his many pets by robbing convenience stores while wearing the mask of a dog, police said Monday.

Takaharu Kawata — branded by Japanese media as “The Dogman” — was caught on a surveillance camera wearing an oversized black-and-white canine mask while brandishing a knife.

OK…I feel I need to step in here. Please take a look at the picture accompanying this article.  Does that look like a dog to you? Are we that ugly? I didn’t think so. That looks more like a cross between a scary Easter Bunny, Wilford Brimley and a cat.

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What You Gonna Do When They Come For You?

Another Totalitarian StateYou hear a lot about animal control but wouldn’t this world be a better place if we had human control officers?  Anyway, the animal control freaks are at it again in Erie, Pa.

Dog owners in Erie County and the city of Erie have until May 14 before city animal control officers and state dog wardens canvas neighborhoods looking for unlicensed dogs. The enforcement effort will target the entire county and city.

Any German Shepherd will tell you this is how it all started in Nazi Germany. Read more

When Funny Faces Aren’t Funny

Baby Picture of DefendantYou ever notice the annoying voices that owners use to speak to us? I can live with that but here’s a trend I’m happy they stopped dead in its tracks.

Jayna Hutchinson, a 33-year-old Vermont woman, was charged with cruelty to animals and resisting arrest after a police officer caught her staring at his dog in a “taunting/harassing manner.”

Dogs on the scene have reported to me she was taunting the canine with calls of “Nanana Boo Boo”. Read more

Elementary, My Dear Rover

The Usual PleaseI’ve heard of bomb sniffing dogs, cadaver dogs, and even hot dogs, but I’ve never heard of pub sniffer dogs. Where else but in Scotland would you find this rare canine breed?

A police operation has started in south west Scotland to send sniffer dogs into pubs to search for drugs. A total of 13 bars were visited by patrols in the Stranraer area as part of the initiative.

Going undercover requires the dog to assume the identity of the typical pub goer. Once it procures the confidence of the locals, it is free to search for drugs while the targets go to the wee. This appears to be a well thought out strategy and will, no doubt become a very effective tool in fighting drug crime. Read more

Pretty In Pink

Pinky TuscaderoWhat do these things have in common? Pinky Tuscedaro, the smallest appendage on your hand, and the woman that wants to get the party started. They all love pink…and so does the owner of Cici…but at least it’s for a good reason.

A Boulder salon owner is facing a $1,000 fine for dyeing her miniature poodle pink — and the woman said she plans to fight back.

Cici is a “breast-cancer awareness dog” who’s been showing off her pink coat for three years at Zing Salon , 1100 Spruce St., said Joy Douglas, who owns both the salon and the poodle.

“Cici is being stripped of her civic duty,” said Douglas, who is scheduled to face a judge in Boulder Municipal Court this morning in response to a March 1 citation. “And I don’t plan to take it sitting down.”

Apparently she doesn’t understand the city’s ‘sit’ command.

Officials at the Humane Society of Boulder Valley said Douglas was warned several times before an animal-control officer issued her the ticket for violating Section 6-1-14 ofBoulder’s city code, titled “Dyeing fowl and rabbits prohibited.”

I guess they only want healthy fowl…and if truth be told there are plenty of reasons rabbits are prohibited.

Douglas said she didn’t break that law, because she uses beet juice — and occasionally Kool-Aid — to “stain” Cici’s coat. She said she never has used chemicals, and her pooch never has had a reaction to the stain.

Dwight Schrute , co-owner of Schrute’s Beet Farm backs Ms. Douglas in this case, “Mose and I appreciate the business Zing Salon gives us. Our beets are harmless, as long as they are prepared in the correct way. The natural enemies of the beet are the cutworm and the aphid. They are horrible. They eat and infest beets. They are of Satan. Also of Satan are the people attacking poor Ms. Douglas.”

Boulder’s animal control officials said the regulation originally was passed to keep people from dyeing chicks and bunnies around Easter.
Despite Douglas’ assertions that she doesn’t use chemicals, [Lisa] Pedersen said officers must enforce the no-dye rule.”Regardless of what she used on the dog, the ordinance is in place and we are commissioned by the city to enforce those ordinances,” Pedersen said. “We are just doing our job.”

You know Ms. Pedersen, the german shepherds at Auschwitz were also just doing their job.

Three years ago, Douglas said, she bought Cici off an animal-adoption Web site frequented by celebrities. Cici was pegged for the purpose of promoting breast-cancer research.

I’m more of a leg dog than a breast one, but I still wish Douglas and Cici the best of luck.

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