Punxsutawney Phil To Lose Job Too?

After quite some time on this planet what I’ve learned is that everything is replaceable.

My rawhides? Replaced by Greenies.

Those Greenies? Replaced by 100% natural dog biscuits.

And those dog biscuits? Replaced by a whole lotta nothing.

Apparently I’m a fat tub of goo according to my parents, and the vet’s scale. But hey, at least nobody is talking about replacing me. Read more

Bunny Needs Gamblers Annonymous

You ever notice that a lot of folks love to drink, smoke and gamble? If you don’t think that’s the case, all you need to do is catch a half hour on A/E during prime time.

I admit my family is no different than others and have these issues. My father is a drinker…of 3 pints of draft beer a week. My mother is a smoker…of every dinner she’s made this year. My sister Copper is a gambler…on her farts not killing everyone in the house.

Me? I do what I want. If I want a drink, I go to my bowl of water. If I want smokes, I steal them from Fonzy’s shirt sleeve. If I want to gamble, I ride shotgun with my mother driving. Read more

Gun Toting Cow to Hunt Rabbits

One of the greatest advertising programs going on right now is the Eat Mor Chickin’ campaign from Chick-Fil-A.  Those crazy cows are out there making life hell for chickens everywhere. I respect their chutzpa.

Well it looks like they’re turning those big ole eye balls towards a new critter to harrass. Specifically, the rabbit.

Yahoo News tells us what’s going on in with those mad cows in the UK…

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Vet Ensures Panda Express Lane Open

I’m a regular dog. Regular as in I poop at the same time, in the same spot, every day.

Occasionally my routine is disrupted with a poorly chosen treat from the hands of my parents, or from the garbage pail. Then I either can’t poop or have a chocolate geyser worthy of a best in class chocolate fondue fountain at a wedding.

I bring this up because today’s story is about a panda getting a colonoscopy.

Sure I could have brought up my love for Katie Couric and all she’s done for public poop shoot awareness, but that would be too ordinary of a lead in, and let’s face it, who doesn’t want to hear about my bowel movements? Read more

What a Nutt

I’ve been barking the alarm for years but nobody listened. I’ve felt alone as I’ve  chased the problem up trees and down drainage pipes. But despite my best efforts, the world has ignored my efforts.

But when a Nutt brings up the same issue, the world stops and listens.

The issue? Glorified rats running free. The BBC News has the details of the latest incident.

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Dead On Arrival

Given the state of the world…this story sounds about right. Read more

Thwarted Coo Attempt

I’m not a fan of pigeons. The last time I was in the city, one took the opportunity to decorate my head.

Normally I’m not against poop, heck I enjoy eating some brands, but pigeon dung really shouldn’t even be classified as such.

Regardless of my feelings for the species, there are limits to what they should have to endure. That limit should stop just short of what happened to the two birds in the following story.

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Sheep Afraid of Wolf Poster

Sheep. They’ll do anything you tell them.

I lived near a herd of sheep at one time. When I barked once; they’d turn left. When I barked twice; they’d turn right. When I barked three times; they’d run out and get me the paper.

Turns out, they’re quite obedient if you resemble a canine.

That’s why, when I read this story, I wasn’t surprised one bit.

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Fierce Cows Trap Man in River

A dog went to his psychiatrist and said, “What’s wrong with me? Tell me, why am I afraid of Santa?”

The psychiatrist said, “It’s simple, you are Claustrofobic.”

Hahaha…I just heard that joke at the local fire hydrant and thought I’d pass it along to all you pups out there. The beauty is, you can even till this joke in mixed company. You know, when humans are around.

Anyway, did you know that 98% of the things a dog fears never comes to pass? That’s according to a study by Psycho students at Bates University. They say if the 2% actually comes to pass, then that’s bad news for you. Typically this means you’ll never be allowed up on the bed, given any treats or be allowed lick your privates in public ever again.

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“Give Me the Rock” Says Elephant

Humans throw tantrums, monkeys throw poo and elephants throw rocks.

That was my key learning for today.

First off, my mother was very unhappy with my father’s inability to clean the dishes he uses. Apparently she’s sick and tired of gathering them from his office and putting them in the dishwasher. She says if she were a dog, she’d be a working class breed. My father doesn’t say anything.

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