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Wally The Squirrel Is Nuts

March 10 | 1 Comment

Funny Dog Blog - Dog Training, Dog food secrets, dog recipesSo I’m perusing the internet over the weekend as most dogs my age will do. Hey, when you’re ancient and your bones ache all over, the last thing you want to do is take a walk with the rest of the clan over hilly terrain, especially at a national battlefield. I’ll be honest with you, the place with its cannons but more importantly ghosts scares me. There I said it, and if you think less of me so be it.

Anyway, back to what I discovered on the digital highway. It was a video of a Bernese Mountain Dog named Jax. Nothing special there since I live with two Berners (one who couldn’t outwit a rock by the way). Joining screen time with Jax is a squirrel named Wally. Wally, not to be confused with Rocky the Squirrel I had a major encounter with many years ago, appears to be domesticated. Read more

Dog Rescued From Can of Cat Food

October 24 | 5 Comments

You ever get so hungry you’d eat cat poop?

I know I have, but sometimes the litter box is empty forcing me to scrounge around the house looking for alternatives.

I’ll check under the couch cushions (the old man is a slob and lots of food gets stuck there, along with a lot of change), on top of short tables and even go so far as to check the bathroom floor.

Of course my personal favorite thing to do when  I’m at starvation death’s door is to go the way of the garbage pail. I knock it over, spread around the goodies and feast on rotting, leftover human food. Mmmm, tasty. Read more

Don’t Poo Poo DNA Evidence

March 19 | 1 Comment

I can't poo in that!I remember the good old days when the only thing watching me was my parents, and then only for a moment or two.

You see, they’d lose interest quickly after letting me outside to do my business in the fenced in yard. I always helped my cause by laying down after my initial burst of energy. Of course I was faking being tired since there was exploring to do.

After enough time had lapsed, I’d head to the fence at the back of the property and dig out underneath it.  Just like that, I’d be free to roam the streets of suburbia for the day. Good times, my friends, good times.

Those days of going ‘freestyle’ are quickly coming to an end, not only for me, but for everyone.  We now have cameras monitoring our every move, gps tracking collars around our necks and bodies embedded with microchips.

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Tree Climbing Dog Forgets “Down” Command

March 17 | 2 Comments

Dog Saves Man in Cherry PickerFocus. It’s not just a car made by Ford.

It’s a skill that allows some to be better than others.

We’ve all experienced moments of intense concentration, where both time and space cease to exist. For me this mostly happens when there’s a beef stroganoff frozen dinner being cooked.

For others, this zen-like state is brought on by the thrill of a hunt. Read more

Stress Test

January 7 | 1 Comment

Einstein takes a break from his studies...is licked by a nose pierced humanI never put much stock in book learnin’.

Maybe it’s because I never went to college. Truth be told I never went to high school either, or even obedience training. I’m a dog from the streets, using common sense to get me where I am today.

Undoubtedly I’ve missed out on some great experiences: Guzzling water straight from a funnel while my brothers in arms chant “Chug, Chug, Chug!”, adding the freshman 15 with late night pizza treat delivery binges and going cow tipping instead of studying for the midterm sit/stay exam.  Ahh, if only we were able to go back in time and choose differently.

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Hole in One for Dog

This hole has a dog attachedI’ve received lots of email from readers that claim I’m too pro-dog, anti-cat biased.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

As evidence take my sister Mothball (please). Yes she of the feline variety, is a key member of the BoKnowsOnline leadership cabinet. She’s responsible for editing all cat related stories. In fact, she designed the cat-carrier for kittens.

In fact, she picked out today’s story, and it does nothing to make canines look good. It’s about Daisy, a hole in the wall and a rescue effort.

The Evening Star has the details.

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Help Refused to Dog Who Dialed Emergency Line

Yeah, they're asleep. I'm going to pee in their shoe now.I remember being a young pup and the accompanying lack of self confidence I felt when approaching cute, chick pups to chat them up.

My head was too big for my body, my paws were like mitts on a baby and my bark had yet to change to the deep masculine one I now sport. In addition to that I couldn’t trust what came out of my mouth, if anything at all.

If that doesn’t make you feel like a l-o-s-e-r, nothing will.

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The Hotel New Havernese

March 27 | 3 Comments

At your serviceLet’s be honest with each other. Work sucks.

Do you know of any dogs that actually enjoy their jobs? Sure Rufus may look like he enjoys snatching a biscuit from his nose, but he ain’t having any fun. Sunshine rolling over for a treat? A blow to her self esteem.  She might as well be working the pole.

Maybe the trick to happy employment is to do something non-traditional?

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Here Comes the Woof

They say a marriage has a 50% chance of succeeding. If you’re under the age of 20, and you get married that rate skyrockets to 112% (Google it! When you find the real percentage, let me know.)

Even with those odds against him, an 18 month old toddler (wise beyond his months) has wed a dog. It seems we all feel like cheerios taste better when shared with those we love.

However, contrary to popular belief, this wasn’t an arranged marriage or done for companionship but rather for something much different.

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Bilbo Hasselhoff to the Rescue

February 5 | 2 Comments

David Hasselhoff is allowed there, but you aren’t.

Gidget has her blanket laid out there, but your dog bed isn’t anywhere to be found.

Kerri Walsh and Misty May Treanor hammer balls home on this court, but you aren’t allowed to chase them.

What, or more specifically, where am I talking about? Well it’s the beach, and get this, it’s in the the UK.

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