Dog Toots His Own Horn

Damn it’s been hot down here in Georgia lately. I hear the whole east coast hasn’t fared much better.

Thank goodness for air conditioning. Whatever you do, don’t listen to those nutbags that want us to stop using it.

There are times when we do need to leave the comfy confines of our homes, and as dogs we can only hope our owners are careful to monitor our heat index when out and about in the family car. I probably shouldn’t bark this, but if it’s too hot out our owners may want to reconsider taking us. Unless they take us into the pet supermarket, the butcher’s shop or the liquor store, is there a point in even going?

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Dog Offers to Help Clean Up Oil Spill

I just found this news article about my latest efforts to save the world from itself.

Bo Hoefinger, the dog best known as the author of Bad To The Bone: Memoir of a Rebel Doggie Blogger, has offered his services to clean up the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

As has been clearly documented, dog hair soaks up the oily remnants of drilling platforms gone bad better than sponges, handy wipes, and even wildlife. Quite simply, dog hair is to oil as paper towels are to pee in a living room.

With everyone getting angry at the lack of success in containing the oil spill, Hoefinger decided to do something about it.

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Superdog Flies Over NY

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have super powers? You know, the ability to do something really special.

A dog’s well documented skill set includes super smelling senses, super gulping power and super poo that heals the young. But what if that’s not enough for us, if we want to be better than that?

I know what I’d want. I would add to my repertoire x-ray vision, if only to see under the flirtatious Shaggy Dog’s coat that prances around my neighborhood. I know that sounds wrong, and it probably is, but I tell it like it is.

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Ziggy Should Have Kept Playing Guitar

It ain’t hard making it in this world. All you need is a good idea, a little execution and whamo! you’re cashing in big time.

Take for instance the wheel, sliced bread or the internet. They made their inventors gazillions upon gazillions of dollars.

What? You say, they didn’t make their inventors anything?

Hmmm…well, then how about the pet rock? Now that was a great idea.

Making money is even easier if you have four legs and are artistically inclined.  Heck you can just paint your way out of the dog house and into a dog mansion. That’s what a dog named Ziggy is doing.

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Tree Climbing Dog Forgets “Down” Command

Focus. It’s not just a car made by Ford.

It’s a skill that allows some to be better than others.

We’ve all experienced moments of intense concentration, where both time and space cease to exist. For me this mostly happens when there’s a beef stroganoff frozen dinner being cooked.

For others, this zen-like state is brought on by the thrill of a hunt. Read more

Look At That Van Go

I don’t like to brag but I consider myself a bit of an artist.

I’m not saying I should be confused with some of the whack jobs in the industry, because I gotta be honest, I’m not going to whack off my ear to show the world how ‘brilliant’ I am. In my case, I’m just going to let my art speak for itself.

That art, as all of you should know by know, is the art of writing. Specifically the writing of the literary classic, and autobiography, “Bad to the Bone, Memoir of a Rebel Doggie Blogger“.

Or how about this:

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Ok, I plagiarized that last line from my typing teacher, but everything in my autobiography is original…and true!!

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Dirtbike Riding Dog

I’m sure you’ve all heard the joke, “What’s the difference between a Hoover vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?” The answer of course is the location of the dirtbag.

Don’t get me wrong I’m pro Harley, and motorcycles in general, but if I have an opportunity to recycle a joke then, by golly, I’m going to do it.

My mother on the other hand is not a fan of motorized cycles of the two wheel variety. I know she’s forbidden my father to get one. It’s not because of safety concerns, but rather the fear he’d ride around town side saddle.

I’m with her. Can you imagine if he wanted to take me along for a ride? Not only would the dogs in town be woofing in laughter at me, but a chorus of cat meow snickering would surely follow! Read more

Watch Your Step-High Wire Dog

We’ve been known to jump through hoops for acceptance, but there are some of us who’ll go just a bit further. Take this Mastiff for instance.

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Eggsellent Lobster Find

I’ve consumed lamb and rice flavored pellets of food, day in and day out for the past ten years. The previous six was spent downing artificially flavored, and I suspect colored, beef and rice dog chow. They call it chow for a reason, and it isn’t because it’s a delicacy.

I find it amazing my mother still expects me to wag with excitement when she appears from the laundry room with bowl in hand to ask me, “Bo, Bo want dinner?”

Eh, not really. How about a treat instead?

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Dog Saves Thousands of Air Travelers From Death

If I were to fly the friendly skies of this united world, I know what they’d call me.

Sully.

You know, as in Captain Chelsey  Sullenberger , the hero pilot that landed a jet into the Hudson River a few months ago. If you’re going to do something, do it right I say. If not, you might as well just roll over in bed, if only to keep from aggravating your bed sores.

Looks like a border collie in Oregon is one step ahead of the pack when it comes to flying. She’s got a job with the local airport. Here’s the story on why. Read more

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